The Feminine Genius in The Awakening of Miss Prim

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

Dostoevsky wrote in The Idiot that “beauty will save the world.” This idea is often seen as mere sentiment, for how could mere aesthetics save the world? But, as the title character in The Awakening of Miss Prim discovers, real beauty, which springs from goodness and truth, can indeed save us.

PHOTOGRAPHY: JANISSE VALENZUELA

PHOTOGRAPHY: JANISSE VALENZUELA

It is the same beauty that St. John Paul II wrote of in his 1995 Letter to Women when he remarked that “there is constantly revealed, in the variety of vocations, that beauty-not merely physical, but above all spiritual-which God bestowed from the very beginning on all, and in a particular way on women.” Though it is not a utopia, the little village where the novel is set is organized in a way that allows the women to use their feminine genius to better their community.

The story opens as Miss Prudencia Prim, a modern woman who feels that she was born in the wrong era, arrives in the lovely little village of San Ireneo de Arnois in an unnamed European country. At first, all she sees are pretty houses, a quiet pace of life, and rather eccentric villagers, most of whose lives revolve around the adjacent monastery, which she isn’t interested in visiting. She discovers that the community she has come to is “a flourishing colony of exiles from the modern world seeking a simple, rural life,” and she is challenged on her notion that she was simply born in the wrong era.

At first, Miss Prim feels that the village’s habits are quaint: the villagers’ theories about education means that most of the children are educated by a group of adults who, though not trained as teachers, are deeply knowledgeable about the various subjects they teach. Many of the businesses in town are run by women, whose families live over the shops and they keep odd hours (the bookshop is only open from 10-2 and the dentist’s office from noon to 5) so that their work won’t conflict with their families’ needs. And every gathering includes tea or coffee and something delicious to eat, as a means of sharing hospitality.

These first two seemingly quaint habits – the education of the community’s children and the business hours being dependent on family needs – are in line with St. John Paul II’s vision for a society where the feminine genius is valued and able to flourish. This setup allows the women of San Ireneo to use their God-given gifts without having to choose between a family and a career, or feeling that if they have both, one or the other must suffer at times, which is precisely why Miss Prim came to San Ireneo not wanting to be married at all. 

Miss Prim has come to the community to work as the librarian for a man known only as the Man in the Wing Chair, an expert on languages and the guardian to his four nieces and nephews. He is one of the founders of the community and he, as a Catholic, has what she believes to be odd views on the world. Their differences often lead to verbal sparring matches, though he is always a gentleman; the novel reminds me in this way of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, but with spiritual differences rather than class differences. The Man in the Wing Chair is a Thomist, and everything he does is informed by this, which is difficult for Miss Prim to understand.

She is also challenged by the friends she makes in the San Ireneo Feminist League, which she initally thinks is an organization out of place in a village as old-fashioned as San Ireneo. She is shocked to discover that it is, however, an organization devoted to helping the women of San Ireneo personally and professionally – at her first meeting, the ladies work to figure out how they can help an engaged woman set up her own business so that she won’t be at her employer’s beck and call once she’s married, and they intend to find Miss Prim a husband, much to her horror.

As she spends time in the village, though, she begins to soften towards the idea of marriage and her friends help her to see that the things she dreaded about marriage are things she has misunderstood. When she brings up the question of the routineness of marriage and asks if it doesn’t get boring, her friend Emma tells her about the wild tulips that grow on the Russian Kalmyk steppe and explains that “Routine is like the steppe; it’s not a monster, it’s nourishment. If you can get something to grow there you can be sure that it will be real and strong.”

Throughout this and many other conversations, Miss Prim comes to see the beauty in the Catholic understanding of the world, but she resists visiting the monastery for a long time. I won’t spoil the ending of the novel, but I have returned to it several times because it’s a refreshing reminder to make my little bit of the world shine with beauty by living according to the truths of our faith.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Wholeheartedly Doing the Will of God as a Married Couple

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

Recently, I watched The Sound of Music for the first time in many years, and this time, I was struck by a bit of dialogue that I hadn’t paid much attention to as a younger viewer. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: KATE ALLEY PHOTOGRAPHY

Early in the film, Maria is in the Reverend Mother’s office and the abbess asks her what the most important thing she had learned at the abbey. Maria replies “To find out what is the will of God, and to do it wholeheartedly.” That leads, of course, to Maria being sent to the von Trapp house, but after I finished the movie, that one line stuck with me as a succinct and beautiful description of holiness.

I returned to that line again after finishing Absent in the Spring, a novel published by Agatha Christie under her pseudonym Mary Westmacott. It is one of a few Christie novels that are not crime novels; it is instead a character study of a middle-aged married woman, Joan Scudamore, who is traveling home to England in the late 1930s after visiting her daughter in Baghdad.

Related: Three Classic Novels for Brides

The weather strands Joan as the sole traveler at a rest house on the Turkish border for a few days, and the people who work there speak very little English. Once she runs out of reading and writing material, she begins to examine her life, coming to some unexpected and unwanted realizations in the meantime. Joan, on the cusp of her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, has not spent the last decades “finding out what is the will of God, and doing it wholeheartedly”; rather she has spent her marriage arranging things according to her own desires and depriving herself of the opportunity for deep and meaningful relationships with her children, and especially with her husband Rodney.

Early in their marriage, Rodney comes to her and tells her that he hates being a lawyer in the family firm and he really wants to take the money they’ve saved and start a farm – it won’t be as lucrative, he admits, but he will be much happier and it will be good for their children. She is horrified and tells him he would be foolish to turn down a good position that will make them financially comfortable: “She had got, she saw, to be firm about this. She must be wise for the two of them. If Rodney was blind to what was best for him, she must assume the responsibility. It was so dear and silly and ridiculous this farming idea. He was like a little boy. She felt strong and confident and maternal.”

Rodney goes into the family firm because she is so insistent, and she thinks that they are happy, but years later, he tells their older daughter that “a man who’s not doing the work he wants to do – the work he was made to do – is only half a man … And if you think that your love, or any woman’s love, can make up to him for that, then I tell you plainly that you’re a sentimental little fool.”

Even then, Joan doesn’t see that her inability to discern with Rodney and to try out his dream of farming has harmed her marriage. It isn’t until she’s alone in the desert, thinking about her life that she realizes the damage she has done to her husband. And her forcing him into a life that he hated and “taken from him his birthright – the right to choose his manner and way of life” is made all the worse because she did it thinking that she loved him. She realizes then that the only way forward is to ask for his forgiveness and she becomes even more impatient to get home to Rodney.

Related: A Note from Our Creative Director | Exercising Discernment Through Seasons of Life

Perhaps this story is even more poignant to me because I was in a similar position early in my marriage. My husband realized that he didn’t want to use his doctorate to do industrial research, but rather to teach physics, and initially I was completely against the idea because it would mean upending everything we had planned. But he was convinced that teaching was where God was calling him, and so, on the advice of a good friend, I agreed to try it, just for a year.

That was five years ago, and while our life is much different than we planned, having the courage to follow where we were being led has led to a happy life. And although difficulties have arisen, we’ve faced them together with that same courage, deepening our love for each other.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Board Games Suggestions for an Enjoyable At-Home Date Night

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

After my husband and I got engaged, we started asking our newly-married friends for suggestions on building our registry. One answer that we received more than we expected was board games. 

We added a few to our registry, which meant we were prepared to host game nights, but over the years, we’ve added to those original games and figured out which ones are best with a group and which ones can be played easily with just the two of us. 

Leisure is a necessary part of both marriage and the Christian life. Playing board games provide unique opportunities for quality time, laughter, and developing communication skills. And they make a perfect at-home date night or a relaxing Sunday afternoon activity. 

Here are our top three two-person games that you and your spouse can enjoy together. 

Dominion

Dominion was the first game that we really played seriously as a couple; we loved it so much that we invested in several expansion packs and brought several of them along on our delayed honeymoon. This is one of our favorites and the one we almost always go back to.

The premise of this game is that each player is the monarch of a small kingdom who is vying with neighboring monarchs to acquire the most land. This deck-building game starts with small identical decks for each player and an assortment of other “kingdom” cards to buy and build your own custom deck to help you win. The original game stands alone quite easily, but any of the kingdom cards from any expansion can be mixed in, so there is quite a lot of variety.

Bananagrams

I grew up in a Scrabble-playing family, but the one downside to that game is how long it can be, since you have to wait for the other players to come up with a word before you can play again; we have had multi-hour games of Scrabble, which isn’t always conducive to marital harmony when one spouse (in our case, me) is impatient.

We prefer Bananagrams because it doesn’t require a board or score-keeping, and each player goes at their own pace. The game itself is really small – 144 tiles in a banana-shaped bag – which makes it a good game to pack when traveling. Using the tiles, each person constructs their own crossword, trying to use up their letters as quickly as possible. The speed of the game means that sometimes spelling errors are made in pursuit of winning, but we always end up laughing at the words each of us has chosen.

Forbidden Island

We were introduced to Forbidden Island by some new friends whose board game collection is extensive; they recommended it as a good way for us to get to know each other. It was great to play with another couple, because it was interesting to see each others’ communication styles, but it also works well for just two people.

In contrast to the previous two games, Forbidden Island is a cooperative game, in which players must work together to move around an island collecting items before the water level rises too high. Each player takes on a different, but essential role in helping to achieve the goal; there are multiple levels of difficulty, which makes this a good game to go back to. It isn’t a difficult game to learn, which makes it a good starting point for people who aren’t avid board game players, and the design of the board and pieces is beautiful.

One last note: board games can be expensive, especially if you end up not enjoying a particular game, so I recommend trying them before you purchase (or add them to your registry) if that’s possible. Some library systems will allow you to check out board games, or you might ask around to see if anyone you know owns a copy of the game you’re interested in playing.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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When the Holidays Don't Go As Planned

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

It was not until I was an adult that I truly appreciated the nuances of the Church’s celebration of Christmas. 

While the world shouts for all of December about magic and happiness and wonder, the Church waits slowly and quietly through the Advent season, until we reach the feast of Christmas and our great joy at the mystery of God become man overflows. We rejoice with the angels and celebrate for twelve days, all the way to Epiphany.

And yet, at the margins of our celebrations, there are small hints, reminders that the story does not stop with the baby in the manger. 

The wise men’s gifts of gold for the baby King, yes, but also the frankincense and myrrh that foretell His death for us. The feast of St. Stephen, the first martyr, on December 26th, which makes clear the price of following that baby in the manger. The feast of the Holy Innocents on December 28th, reminding us that evil has not left the world just because Jesus has come. 

I had known these things all my life, but it took a long time for me to understand just what a gift the Church gives us by her insistence that you cannot have the wood of the manger without the wood of the cross.

I had big dreams for my first married Christmas. We had married in January, so by Christmas I expected that my husband would have finished graduate school and found a lucrative job, we’d have a cute little house that I would have decorated from top to bottom, and if we didn’t have a baby in our arms yet, there would be one on the way.

In short, I was envisioning the picture-perfect end of a Hallmark movie and I couldn’t wait.

By December, it was clear that my vision wouldn’t be reality. My husband had finished school, but he’d discerned a call to teach college, and academic jobs are hard to come by at that time of the year. We were living with my parents to save money, so my few Christmas decorations were packed away. And we were beginning our struggle with infertility; I wouldn’t be holding a baby until our fourth married Christmas. That year, I shed more than a few tears over this reality that so starkly contrasted with what I had dreamed.

But the great feast happened anyway, and I found for the first time that I could really appreciate the miracle of Jesus being born into the mess of our world. 

He didn’t just descend from heaven as the divine Being He is, but chose to unite His divinity with our humanity. He didn’t erase the effects of Adam and Eve’s sin, but allowed us to reconcile ourselves with God and gave us the hope of Heaven. 

My plans may have been a mess, but Jesus was right there anyway.

This Advent and Christmas season may have been difficult. 2020 was, as we were continually reminded, a strange year, and the pandemic may have affected the plans you made for this holiday.

If you are a newlywed and you find yourself disappointed that your first married Christmas is different than you had envisioned, I understand. May you find comfort and hope in the Church’s celebration of this season, and knowing that wherever you are is where Jesus dwells. 


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Making a Home

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

Before I got married, I never thought much about making my dwelling place feel like a home. 

PHOTOGRAPHY:  NICOLE CLAREY PHOTOGRAPHY, C/O ASHLEY EILEEN FLORAL DESIGN

PHOTOGRAPHY: NICOLE CLAREY PHOTOGRAPHY, C/O ASHLEY EILEEN FLORAL DESIGN

Throughout college and graduate school and my first year of teaching, my dorm rooms and apartments were just places for me to put my stuff during the school year; there were several places that I never even hung pictures on the wall, since I spent most summers back at my parents’ home.

But when my fiance and I found the apartment that would be our first home together just months before our wedding, I started to think more about what I wanted our home to be like. 

He moved in immediately and, in the weeks after our wedding as I unpacked my boxes in my new home, I realized that I didn’t want to just consolidate our possessions. I wanted our house to feel like a home, and with my husband furiously writing his dissertation before his funding ended, it was up to me to make it feel homey.

Related: Home as a Place of Transition.

I had a vision: a home that was cozy and inviting, full of books, laughter, and love. I wanted to create a home that welcomed my husband back at the end of the day, a place where we could invite our friends and that, one day, our children would want to invite their friends to visit.

I wanted to create a home like the Marches’ in Little Women, where the lonely neighbor boy looks at the window for a glimpse of family life, or Bag-End from The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, where there was always plenty of food and drink and coziness. 

I also had no idea how to execute that vision.

After almost six years of marriage, I’m much closer to having the kind of home that I dreamed about as a new bride. I’m not completely there yet, but here are some of the resources I’ve found that have helped me make our various dwelling places home.

Creating your Vision

If you’re looking for inspiration for your vision of home, Haley Stewart’s The Grace of Enough: Pursuing Less and Living More in a Throwaway Culture is an excellent read. 

Stewart shares the story of her family’s year in a tiny house on a sustainable farm and how that helped them to live more simply and intentionally. The book includes discussion questions at the end to help you figure out how to apply the virtues discussed in the circumstances to which God has called you.

Related: Finding Heaven in a One-Bedroom Apartment

Housekeeping

My husband and I started our marriage with different ideas of what a clean house meant; he was much more laid-back than I was, and I couldn’t see how he could stand to live somewhere that wasn’t immaculate at all times. Eventually, I realized I was trying to create a house museum and not a home, and we’ve settled into a routine that gives us a reasonably clean home most of the time. 

While there are lots of routines available on the internet, I like to have a good reference book handy, such as Cheryl Mendelson’s Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House.

Home Comforts is not a small book, but it is incredibly useful because, as the preface states, “This book contains practical how-to-do-it material on many of these subjects [meeting people’s needs], for both novices and those experienced in keeping house, and, because keeping house is a labor of love, it devotes space to its meanings as well as to its methods.” 

Every couple will have their own preferences about the division of labor, but keeping love at the forefront is essential.

Decorating

Interior decorating has never been a great skill of mine. I always want to have a nicely decorated, cozy home, but whenever I get the decorating urge, I tend to get overwhelmed, either by Pinterest or the number of aisles at Home Goods. 

Enter Myquillyn Smith, author of The Nesting Place, Cozy Minimalist Home, and Welcome Home. After we bought a house last year, I devoured her first two books and I’m slowly making my way through Welcome Home, her newest release from this past summer.

I have found these books especially useful because Smith teaches her readers how to embrace the imperfections of their spaces and budgets while still creating a home they love. 

Our home isn’t anywhere close to being fully decorated, but I’m learning to take my time, use Pinterest wisely and in a way that doesn’t lead to envy or overwhelm, and be creative in my pursuit to have a home that works for life with a toddler and a puppy, but also allows us to entertain when we’re able.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Lessons for Newlyweds from Meg March

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

Despite the enduring popularity of Louisa May Alcott’s novel Little Women, not all of the March sisters are given equal consideration, especially in the two most recent film adaptations (2017 and 2019).

PHOTOGRAPHY: ALEX KRALL PHOTOGRAPHY

Jo is the feminist heroine, eschewing traditional female roles to pursue her dreams of being a writer, Beth is the tragic sister suffering from poor health, and Amy is the adventurous artist who goes from being an obnoxious child to a poised and well-traveled young woman. 

And Meg, the oldest sister? Meg gets married and has babies almost right away, which fits with the conventional expectations for women in the late 19th century. Because her story centers around marriage and children after she gets married, Meg gets rather sidelined in these films. 

In the novel, however, Meg grapples with the same kinds of issues that modern women encounter, particularly early in marriage, and Alcott’s resolution of these problems points at how we might solve them too.

In the beginning of the novel, Meg’s ambition is to marry a wealthy man. Though her family isn’t well-off, they were at one time and she remembers the physical comforts that they had had.

She ends up marrying John Brooke, a family friend with little money and declaring that she’ll be content with a man who loves her, even if they are poor. This turns out to be easier said than done.

At first she is happy in their small house, but Meg’s envy of her wealthier friends begins to steal that happiness and she starts spending money on things they don’t need just so she can participate in shopping trips. 

The final straw comes when she spends a large amount of money on fabric for a dress and it means that John has to go without a new overcoat in a cold New England winter. Meg feels so terrible about this that she swallows her pride and goes to Sallie with a request that she buy the fabric from Meg, which she does, and the overcoat can be purchased after all.

In our age of social media, it’s even easier to look at someone else’s life and struggle with envy. 

I can tell when I’ve been spending too much time on social media because I start to feel restless and wish for change when normally I’m happy with my life – I start daydreaming about beach vacations or obsessively searching for new furniture. 

I often forget that most people only post the highlights of their lives; they aren’t living some kind of enchanted life any more than I am. When I spend more time working on family projects instead of online, I’m much less apt to compare myself to others and I’m satisfied with the life my husband and I have built.

Envy isn’t the only vice Meg struggles with; she also has to deal with a fair amount of pride. 

While she’s grown out of her vanity about her looks by the time she’s married, pride manifests itself in a different way in her marriage: she has expectations that she’ll be a perfect housekeeper from the very beginning and far overestimates her ability to execute what she’s seen her mother do for years. 

The combination of a rash promise to host a dinner without warning, a desire to make a ton of jam without actually knowing how, and a husband who took her up on that promise lead to the first major fight of the Brookes’ married life. 

Both John and Meg decide independently not to be petty and both intend to be the first to forgive, so the incident ends with their reconciliation; they choose to help each other overcome their vices and so grow in virtue together.

There is so much compromise that goes on in marriage, and it’s easy to let pride get in the way, even in the honeymoon period of early marriage. However, I think the advice Meg received before her marriage from her mother holds true even now: 

“Watch yourself, be the first to ask pardon if you both err, and guard against the little piques, misunderstandings, and hasty words that often pave the way for bitter sorrow and regret.” 

This is such hard advice to follow sometimes, especially if you’re convinced that you’re right or justified in your opinion or reaction, but a little humility can often go a long way.

Marriage doesn’t cure us of our vices, but rather puts them under a magnifying glass because we can see in a new way how our sins affect others, specifically those we love deeply. But, as Alcott’s Meg shows us, working alongside our husbands to root out the sins of both spouses is important. 

That cooperative work, along with receiving the sacraments frequently and having a robust prayer life, will help us have a happy home life.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Fall Wedding Reads for Anne Shirley Fans

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

Lucy Maud Montgomery is most famous for her novel Anne of Green Gables, but she was a prolific writer, working for decades on full-length novels and numerous short stories. Montgomery did not have a happy childhood or a particularly happy marriage; however, her fiction centers around marriage and family life, both the happy and unhappy. There is even an anthology of short stories completely dedicated to marriage, titled At the Altar: Matrimonial Tales. Below are my recommendations for full-length novels that are also cozy fall reads with a good marriage plot.

The Blue Castle

The Blue Castle is one of Montgomery’s few novels written specifically for adults; it tells the story of Valancy Stirling, a 21-year old “old maid” with an overbearing family. When Valancy is diagnosed with a fatal heart condition and given just a year to live, she decides to leave her mother’s home, first to work as housekeeper for a gravely ill childhood friend.

When her friend dies, Valancy then proposes to and marry Barney Snaith, a mysterious man whom her family is convinced is a criminal. Though Barney is not in love with her when they marry, Valancy and Barney spend the rest of Valancy’s last year getting to know each other and enjoying each others’ company during long hours spent in nature.

The beautiful descriptions of the long Canadian winter make this a great cold weather read, but I love this book particularly for Valancy and Barney’s relationship. Valancy does not value the same things as her family—money and class status—and in Barney, she finds a kindred spirit and feels as if she can finally truly be herself. They both love the natural world and Barney teaches her how to see things she never would have noticed on her own.

Though they live in a tiny house and don’t have much in the way of material possessions, they live on an island in the woods where they have vast expanses of nature to explore, and their friendship deepens through their time spent together, which is a lovely reflection on the importance of friendship in marriage, and the culmination of this story has a twist which wonderfully caps off Valancy’s last year.

Anne of Windy Poplars

This fourth novel in the Anne of Green Gables series is not always as highly regarded as the rest of the novels, but don’t let that be a deterrent. It’s set during Anne and Gilbert’s long-distance engagement while she teaches and he is in medical school, so about half of the novel is comprised of her letters to him about her life as a teacher at Summerside High School and boarder at Windy Poplars, a home owned by two elderly widows.

During her three years in Summerside, Anne has a number of clashes with the well-connected and numerous Pringle family, but also makes a number of friends whom she is able to help, either by alleviating their loneliness or helping along engagements and marriages.

I’ve always loved this novel because, despite being engaged, Anne isn’t solely focused on wedding planning or waiting for her life with Gilbert to begin.

While she does make mention of missing him and wanting to be together, she’s also fully present in her life as a teacher and resident of Windy Poplars. She befriends students who are left out, the little girl who lives next door, and various other neighbors, as well as being an active member of the larger community, even though she knows her time there is limited.


Being impatient for marriage while you’re engaged isn’t uncommon, but it’s refreshing to have an engagement story that doesn’t focus completely on that impatience, and as the next novel shows,
their years of working and being separated make that first year of marriage even sweeter.

Mistress Pat

Mistress Pat is the companion novel to Pat of Silver Bush, the story of Patricia (Pat) Gardiner and her childhood growing up at Silver Bush farm on Prince Edward Island. As Mistress Pat begins, Pat is in her twenties and still not willing to contemplate leaving her beloved family home to get married and start her own family.

Years pass, and though Pat considers marrying several times, she can’t find anyone for whom she wants to move away from Silver Bush; eventually, her sisters and brothers all marry, and an emergency forces Pat to reevaluate her insistence on remaining in her childhood home.

Novels that center on happy homes are always cozy, but I also like Mistress Pat for fall because it is an interesting look at marriage and family life; the title comes from the role Pat plays in her family, as her mother is an invalid and so Pat, the second-eldest daughter, has taken on most of the household management since she is unmarried. In one sense, that is why she’s not in a hurry to marry; she loves her home and family and she’s already running a house, but she also hates change, and marriage would mean change.

Pat also can’t imagine marrying someone who doesn’t value what she values, much like Valancy in The Blue Castle, a point that is driven home when her brother Sid, who has been jilted by his fiancée, suddenly marries May Binnie, a pretty girl who makes his life, and the lives of the Gardiner family, much more difficult. Before they’ve been married a year, they begin to fight constantly, and Pat almost gets married herself just to get away from them. Sid has clearly married May based on her looks and doesn’t consider that his marriage will be for life. There are other relatively quick marriages in the novel, like Pat’s sister Rae, but because Rae’s fiancé is good, to quote Anne Shirley, their marriage is happy.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Cooking through the Liturgical Year

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

As a newlywed, I struggled with how to incorporate liturgical living into our lives. The traditions I was familiar with, crafts and storybooks and the like, are geared towards teaching children about the saints and the seasons of the church year. We had received an Advent wreath as a wedding present, but, beyond that, I didn’t have a vision of how to anchor our lives into the church year; we didn’t have a list of family patrons whose feast days we desired to celebrate and I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of feast days that we could celebrate.

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After a few years of floundering--including several before our son was born when I made my convert husband put out his shoes for St. Nicholas, since he didn’t get to do that as a child--I’ve started to think about participating in the liturgical year in a simpler way. This practice will undoubtedly get more complex as our family grows, but an easy way for me to think about living liturgically right now is through our menus, choosing simple foods like soup and bread during penitential seasons and going all out during feasting seasons. Here are some cookbooks our family has tried that help me do just that.

Advent

12 Months of Monastery Soups by Brother Victor Antoine d’Avila-Latourrette

I discovered this cookbook at the library one fall when we were part of a vegetable co-op through my husband’s work. With its recipes grouped by month and focused on using seasonally available produce, it quickly became a staple in my meal planning rotation. All of the soups are simple, with just a few steps beyond chopping the produce, and some months even have soups named for particular saints. During Advent, any of the fall or winter soups, served with some bread and perhaps fruit, would make a delightful, filling meal that is both cozy and fitting for a penitential season. 

Lent

This Good Food: Contemporary French Vegetarian Recipes from a Monastery Kitchen by Brother Victor Antoine d’Avila-Latourrette Another seasonal cookbook from the same monastery, this one is also filled with recipes that are just as easy as the soups and don’t use lots of exotic ingredients, since the monastery aims to be as self-sufficient as possible. In this cookbook, Brother Victor also includes suggestions for how the monks would serve the dishes; the Italian frittata might be served with salad and fruit as the main meal on a fast day, for example. Using seasonal ingredients is often more cost-effective, as they are in plentiful supply and therefore less expensive, which makes this a perfect cookbook to utilize during Lent, when many people try to make more money available for charitable giving.

Easter and Christmas: 

Holiday and Celebration Bread in Five Minutes a Day by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois

This is one of our favorite cookbooks for special feast days; like the original cookbook, the base dough recipes are simple and mix up in five minutes, but they are then used in a variety of recipes that range from simple to complex. One of our family favorites is the brioche dough; we’ve used it to make the Holiday Star Bread for Christmas and Easter, as well as making it the base for our king cake on Fat Tuesday and birthday danishes. I like having a few tried-and-true recipes for special feast days and holidays, and I’ve learned not to be afraid of attempting complicated recipes for special occasions, because practice makes those dishes easier to produce each time.

Drinking with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Holy Happy Hour by Michael P. Foley

This recipe book is a fun way for adults who drink alcohol to participate in the liturgical calendar; Foley has gathered drink recipes and paired them with brief biographies of saints and descriptions of feast days. The first section of the book is arranged by month, with another section of the book for the seasons of the church year, so you have lots of options for how to approach this style of liturgical living. He does use the old pre-Vatican II calendar because there are more saints’ days on it, but there is an appendix in the back that allows you to switch to the newer calendar, which is the one that most people use. The introduction explains how to use the book, which is excellent if you’re novice cocktail makers like us, and the author discusses how to temperately use the book. 


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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The Parallel Paths to Holiness in Religious Life and Marriage

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

On the surface, In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden is about life in a contemplative Benedictine monastery in England. But at its heart, this novel is about the deep joy and peace that come from a vocation well-lived. 

The fictional community is inspired by the author’s experience participating in the daily life of the nuns at Stanbrook Abbey, and the characters in the novel are just as life-like. The beautiful depiction of religious life doesn’t make me regret not becoming a nun, but rather affirms the many ways I strive for holiness in my vocation to marriage. 

Godden takes the personal stories of a few nuns--Philippa Talbot, a wealthy middle-aged civil servant, Cecily Scallon, a young woman who has fought her family to enter the community, and Dame Catherine Ismay, who is elected abbess early in the novel--and interweaves them with the story of the greater community. Their lives are set against the backdrop of the Church immediately before and during the Second Vatican Council (1962-5). The Benedictines have a vow of stability, but that does not mean there are no changes, and Godden’s lyrical prose draws the reader into the world of Brede Abbey as its 96 nuns navigate interpersonal and financial challenges within the “great cycle of the liturgical year with its different words and colors” (105).

The nuns of Brede Abbey are not caricatures or stock characters; their struggles are incredibly real, as is their faith. 

When Dame Catherine is elected abbess--a lifelong office--she panics, thinking of what will now be required of her; her only thought is “I can’t.” She goes to the church to draw strength from Jesus in the tabernacle, and “it was as if a quieting hand was laid on her panic; with her eyes on the small flame that had never gone out since the community came to Brede, she whispered, ‘I can’t,’ but it was acceptance now. ‘I can’t,’ whispered Dame Catherine, ‘so You must’” (165). 

Though few of us married women are able to have the Blessed Sacrament so close by, this episode is a reminder that communication with and abandonment to God ought to be our first recourse in the times of suffering and trial. What a beautiful response to a seemingly unbearable burden: she recognizes her inability to lead alone and asks for God’s help, which comes in many ways, both big and small.

Holiness for the nuns of Brede is found in doing their daily work in addition to spending time in prayer. The Rule of St. Benedict calls for monasteries to be self-sustaining, so there are many tasks, mostly mundane, that must be done for the community to function well, and every nun must attend to her assigned work with diligence: “‘We don’t put much faith in ecstasies here,’ Dame Ursula had told [the postulants]. ‘The nun you see rapt away in church isn’t likely to be the holiest. The holiest one is probably the one you would never notice, because she is simply doing her duty’” (55). 

Married life works in a similar way; a quote often attributed to St. Frances of Rome says, “A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household affairs.” Every time I do a sink full of dishes or my husband takes out the trash, despite whether either of us actually wants to do the work, we have an opportunity to grow in sanctity by serving each other and carrying out the duties of married life. The moments we are interrupted from pleasure to fulfill our vocational duty are opportunities to develop virtue.

These duties often change according to the season of life we’re in; newlyweds have different responsibilities than parents, for example. In addition, the transition from one season to the next can be difficult. 

Families thrive when individuals find creative ways to use their personal talents to benefit the entire family.

The same is true in religious communities: with the exception of abbess, the responsibilities of the nuns change periodically and all of the nuns are asked to use their gifts for the good of the community, even if it is uncomfortable. In Brede, Dame Philippa is asked to become assistant novice mistress after some Japanese postulants enter the community because she learned the language before entering the monastery; she takes on this position even though it means interacting with another postulant who is a painful reminder of a tragedy in her past. 

Throughout the novel, Godden comes back to the idea that true, lasting peace comes from living out the vocation that God offers us. But she understands that just because we are called to a particular vocation--marriage for most of us--we will not always be ecstatically happy as the world understands it. The novel begins with a description of the abbey’s motto that perfectly encapsulates this understanding: “The motto was ‘Pax,’ but the word was set in a circle of thorns. Pax: peace, but what a strange peace, made of unremitting toil and effort, seldom with a seen result; subject to constant interruptions, unexpected demands, short sleep at nights, little comfort, sometimes scant food; beset with disappointments and usually misunderstood; yet peace all the same, undeviating, filled with joy and gratitude and love. ‘It is my own peace I give unto you.’ Not, notice, the world’s peace” (3). 

No vocation comes free of suffering, but if we are where God calls us to be, doing our best to carry the crosses along the way, we too will know God’s peace.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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About Food: An Opportunity for Virtue and Hospitality

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

Food plays an important role in our lives. Families gather at table for daily meals and family reunions; the Eucharist was initiated at the last supper and operates under the physical properties of bread and wine; similarly, for a wedding, the reception often plays significant social role and contributes to the bulk of the budget. Unfortunately for many brides, their relationship with food is in conflict. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: VISUAL GRACE

PHOTOGRAPHY: VISUAL GRACE

Despite the personal and social good that food brings, brides are often encouraged to take up strict diet and exercise regimes to look their “best” for their wedding day, and then provide a lavish feast at the reception for their guests, even when the bride and groom may or may not be able to sit down and eat. This was certainly the case when I was planning my wedding, and I believed much of this advice, especially about not eating during the reception. Although my parents helped us throw a wonderful event, I wish I had a healthier view of the event in the planning stages.

Much of this internal conflict comes when we misunderstand the importance of food and its proper role in our lives. When we see dessert as a reward, or a starvation diet as a fast way to lose weight, then we are acknowledging externally a disordered internal moral approach to the food we eat and, moreover to the way we view our bodies. When starvation is a means to losing weight, then we deprive ourselves of the nourishment we need, and when dessert is a reward, then we abandon discipline in the name of celebrating discipline. In extreme cases, these internal views of the body can yield eating disorders.

Emily Stimpson Chapman’s The Catholic Table: Finding Joy Where Food and Faith Meet addresses these issues head on. This short book--only 170 pages--looks at food and eating from a truly Catholic perspective. 

Chapman states in her introduction that “The Church, in her great wisdom, offers us a way to see the world that can restore the gift of food to its proper place. In her teachings on grace, the Eucharist, the virtues, fasting, hospitality, and the body, she charts a course for us quite different from the one the world urges us to follow” (xvii). The book includes Chapman’s own story of recovering from an eating disorder as well as profiles of saints, food film and Catholic cookbook recommendations, recipes, and quotes from saints and Catholic writers. 

The Catholic Table has been instrumental in helping me not only see how the food I eat fits in with my own pursuit of holiness, but also develop a healthy home culture for our children. For couples planning their wedding and reception, three themes stand out as especially insightful. 

Exercise and Control 

This Catholic view of the body and exercise makes it clear that it’s not wrong to pursue physical fitness, as long as you’re using exercise to care for your body and not to punish it. Chapman explains, “To control something isn’t to care for it. Control is about power. It’s about managing a problem. Caring, on the other hand, is about love. It sees to honor a good. Someone who seeks to control their body and someone who seeks to care for their body are doing two entirely different things. One is treating the body like a problem; the other is treating the body like a gift. One sees the body as a thing; the other sees the body as the person – as me, as you” (57).

“Eating and the Virtues” 

Chapter 9, titled “Table Lessons – Eating and the Virtues,” is a reminder that, rather than being “an opportunity for vice,” eating is “a daily invitation to flex our spiritual muscles and grow in justice, prudence, temperance, and fortitude. It’s also a chance to demonstrate faith, hope, and charity” (110). Through this virtue-focused lens, the discussion unfolds to reveal ways to practically live out those virtues, rather than going to extremes--which leads to burnout and the formation of bad habits. What better time than engagement to work on developing those spiritual habits that you will need in married life?

For example, instead of eating clean or eliminating a food group, focus on eating with gratitude and in community with others. By shifting a focus away from the food and seeing food as a means to grow in virtue, we are invited to bring prayer and discernment into an ordinary daily task. Many couples strive to prepare for marriage by growing in virtue; making changes around meal times is a frequent opportunity to build virtuous habits and seek God every day.

Hosting and Hospitality 

No matter how many times you have hosted dinner parties or social gatherings, a wedding reception is a one-of-a-kind event to offer hospitality to loved ones. Too often we fall into the trap of thinking that a reception should look like a spread in a magazine in order to impress our guests, an event “meant to demonstrate to all who walk through our doors how perfectly fabulous we are” (130). This mindset misses the point of Christian hospitality: loving others and “giv[ing] people a foretaste of the supper to which we’re all invited: the marriage supper of the Lamb” (139). 

Just as your wedding Mass is an opportunity to show your guests the goodness of God, the reception can be another opportunity to show them how much they are loved and valued as a member of your community, even if your financial means are limited. If you offer what you have in love and a spirit of real hospitality, the impact will be more meaningful and longer-lasting than an Instagram post. 


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Coping with Homesickness while Adjusting to a New Life

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

“A man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” We hear this over and over through the rite of matrimony, not only because it is important, but because it can be hard. Although this is a charge directed at husbands, wives, in becoming one with their husbands, also must leave behind aspects of their families of origin. 

I came from a close-knit family with lots of traditions, and when my husband got a job several states away from my hometown in our second year of marriage, I was devastated. I had always planned to raise my children in the same town as my parents so that they would share the same closeness I had with my own grandparents.

Shortly before our move, my grandmother brought me the DVD of Brooklyn, a movie she wanted me to see because it reminded her of her own mother’s immigration story. As I watched the protagonist, Eilis Lacey, build a life in 1950s New York, far away from her family in Ireland, I began to see the promise in our upcoming move, instead of just sadness for my loss. 

This quiet, lovely film offered inspiration to commit wholly to my vocation and the family that I was creating with my new husband. Whether your marriage takes you across the world or just across town, this movie has some valuable insights for newlyweds.

Before we dive into these insights, a brief disclaimer is in order. As Steven Greydanus says in his review: “Brooklyn is not a Catholic film per se, but the Church stands in the background, an unobtrusive but essential institution in the local community.” In this way, the Catholic church plays an essential role in Eilis and Tony’s lives, but in a moment of grief, they falter regarding chastity, though the scene is brief and not explicit. 

1. Change can make you homesick, but homesickness won’t last forever. 

When Eilis first arrives in New York, she is miserable, clinging to her letters from home like a lifeline, but over time she adjusts to life in America. The shift is gradual, but as the months pass, she realizes how happy she’s become in Brooklyn; even her employer notices and asks for Eilis’ secret to pass on to the next homesick immigrant. Although Eilis attributes it to falling in love with Tony (an Italian-American Catholic), it’s also clear that her routines in work, night school, and her parish life were important to her adjustment.

As a newlywed, there are all kinds of changes that can make you yearn for the life you had before: moving to a new place, having to make holiday decisions, making joint plans with your husband instead of just thinking about yourself, and taking on more responsibility than anticipated over pets, among other things. Many of these challenges are transient and will pass; some will require new routines, while others will need the patience and love of your spouse.

2. Build your community around the Church.

The kind, old priest who sponsored her immigration helps Eilis start to integrate into her new community by enrolling her in a bookkeeping course and asking her to spend Christmas day at the church, serving a meal to men who have nowhere else to go. She also attends parish dances with the other girls at her boarding house, where she eventually meets Tony. Though not all of her time is spent at church, everything in Eilis’ life is affected by her connection to the Church.

In a similar way, your local parish can help you form new routines in your newlywed life. If you’ve just moved, getting involved in a young adult group or Bible study can help you and your husband meet other Catholic newlyweds. If you’re continuing to attend a parish, see if you are being called to participate in a new ministry, either individually or as a couple.

3. Eventually, you will adjust to your new life.

While it initially seems impossible, Eilis finally comes to a place of peace about her new life and how being in America has changed her. Near the end of the movie, she offers advice to another new immigrant, and she tells her, “You'll feel so homesick that you'll want to die, and there's nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won't kill you. And one day the sun will come out--you might not even notice straight away, it'll be that faint. And then you'll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who's only yours. And you'll realize... that this is where your life is.” 

Eilis’ months of suffering have transformed her, and her visit home has served as confirmation that her life in Brooklyn is the one to which she has been called.

If you’re interested in a more detailed review of the film before you watch it, I highly suggest Steven Greydanus’ take


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Meet Our New Team Members

 

As we at Spoken Bride strive to continue sharing the truth, goodness, and beauty of Catholic marriage, we are grateful for each of you: the authentic, faithful women who support and participate in our mission.

Today, it’s our pleasure to introduce to you the newest team members who are joining us in carrying out this mission in a tangible way. To learn about the entire Spoken Bride team, read more on the About Us page.

 

Maria Luetkemeyer, Twitter Manager

Getting to know Maria: My life is all about weddings at the moment! I am blessed to be working with Spoken Bride. My older sister, Emily, is the founder and creative force behind Pillar & Pearl Gifts, a Spoken Bride vendor. My older sister’s Katie recently got engaged, and I am preparing to be a bridesmaid in both her and my best friend’s weddings—God is clearly at work in the world of Catholic marriage!

My favorite saint and devotion: I have a special love of Saint Augustine, kindled by reading his Confessions, and a newfound devotion to the mystery of the Divine Mercy.

A quote I always turn back to: “It is necessary to go through dark and deeper dark and not to turn.” (The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo). Akin to walking through the valley of the shadow of death, it is crucial to embrace the cross of our sufferings of this life to bring us to deeper union with God.

Some personal highlights of COVID-19 quarantine: My older sister got engaged—talk about a light in the darkness! Quarantine has unexpectedly bonded my big, beautiful family together. We’ve been loving having meet-ups of every kind, be it over Zoom or socially distanced cookouts. Also, I have finally started reading the Diary of Saint Faustina for the first time!

 

Melissa Pfeifer, Instagram & Facebook Feed Manager

Getting to know Melissa: I have always loved to travel and explore, and grew up going to visit family in Ecuador. Since we’ve been married, my husband and I have visited 3 different countries—Norway, France, and Kenya. Of course the experiences are all wonderful in their own respects, but I found attending Mass in these unfamiliar parts of the world incredibly moving.

My favorite saints: Mother Teresa, though St. Ignatius and Sts. Zelie and Louis are important to me as well. 

Bible verses I always turn back to: “Where you go I will go” (Ruth 1:16); ”With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26); ”Be still and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:16)

Some treasured memories of COVID-19 quarantine: Since we’ve been in quarantine, I’ve had more time to get creative with my candle shop on Etsy. I’ve completely changed the shop’s look and feel and am so excited for customers to try my new candles.

 

Janisse Valenzuela, Instagram Stories Manager

A fun fact about Janisse: My husband and I got married on the feast day of St. Zelie and Louis Martin, July 12th, 2019, we have a special love and devotion to these married saints. Praying for their daily heavenly intercession for our marriage and all marriages in the world. 

My favorite saints: Apart from the Blessed Mother, Pope John Paul II, St. Zelie and Louis Martin, St. Joseph, and St. Therese of Lisieux..... these are my favorite heavenly friends!

A quote I always go back to: "Perfect love passes through the total and constant gift of oneself” (Saint John Paul II). Any Pope John Paul II quote is my favorite! He is seriously my favorite theologian and philosopher of all time! 

A new hobby during COVID-19 quarantine: Cooking homemade meals, taking virtual live cooking classes, and watching cooking Youtube Videos. We are traveling the world by cooking new cuisines every week; so far we have made Mexican, Italian, Indian, Greek, and Asian dishes. 

 

Theresa Namenye, Contributing Writer

Getting to know Theresa: I love being busy with good things. The more packed my schedule is, the more I thrive and the more I accomplish. Rest feels good to me when it's balanced with a lot of hard work. Quarantine is difficult for me in this regard. But like all things, I have to see it as an invitation to learn new ways of accomplishing goals and seeking the true, good, and beautiful without a normal schedule. 

One of my favorite devotions: I have come to enjoy praying the Rosary of Divine Mercy Chaplet on runs outside. 

Quotes I always turn back to: "In my deepest wound I saw Your glory, and it dazzled me." (Augustine); "We do not need wings to find You." (Teresa of Avila)

Something I’ve learned during COVID-19 quarantine: I wouldn't call it a new hobby, but I've become pretty good at Google classroom and online lesson planning  in quarantine. It is a sorry substitute for the joy of a real classroom but it's still a way to connect with my students every day. 

 

Maggie Strickland, Contributing Writer

A fun fact about Maggie: My parents got married on my grandparents' 28th wedding anniversary and we got married on my parents' 28th wedding anniversary - instead of one big cake, we had 10 smaller ones and my parents & grandparents each had their own cake cutting to celebrate their anniversaries.

My favorite saint: St. Therese of Lisieux

A quote I always turn back to: "Remember: the holiness of 'little things' done well, over and over again, for the love of God" (Servant of God Catherine Doherty)

A new hobby during COVID-19 quarantine: I've dusted off my sewing machine and started working on sewing clothes since quarantine started.

 

Kat Finney, Contributing Writer

A fun fact about Kat: I am always ready for karaoke.  Note:  I did not say I am always good at karaoke.  I am simply always ready for it.

My favorite devotion: I have a devotion to Our Lady of Prompt Succor, who is patroness of New Orleans.  It has been through her intercession that New Orleans from fire, battle, and natural disasters.  We invoke her intercession in all times of need, particularly now in this time of pandemic but also throughout the months of hurricane season.

A quote I always turn back to: This is going to sound pretty cliché Catholic of me, but my favorite quote to live by is "Let it be done unto me according to thy word" (Luke 1:38). It's engraved on my wedding band, and when I read it I am reminded that God has greater plans than I could ever have for myself.

Something I’ve learned during COVID-19 quarantine: I've been struck throughout this quarantine with the reminder that there is so much to appreciate in the everyday normal.  I don't think I realized until these past few months that I don't have to look far to find fulfillment and joy.

 

Gen Allen, Contributing Writer

A fun fact about Gen: One day, I hope to be the patron saint of library delinquents. 

My favorite saints: St. Francis of Assisi and St. Mary Magdalene

A quote I always turn back to:  “Those were the Rommely women...They were all slender, frail creatures with wondering eyes and soft fluttery voices. But they were made out of thin invisible steel.” (Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn)

Something I’ve learned during COVID-19 quarantine: My family planted some flowers and herbs together! I have a black thumb, but we’re learning! 

 

Bridget Busacker, Contributing Writer

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Getting to know Bridget: I started playing the violin when I was 9 years old because I watched the movie, "Singin in the Rain" and there's a classic scene of a cheesy violin duet. Once I saw it, I was inspired to play and begged my mom to let me try it! She wasn't so sure, but I ended up taking lessons for many years—including some lessons in college and during my first year of marriage, too! 

My favorite saint and devotion: I have a devotion to my confirmation saint, St. Therese of Lisieux! I didn't start having a devotion to her until a few years ago when I read about her parents and learned more about her family life. I had some misconceptions about Therese and thought she was kind of annoying (can I say that about a saint?!) until I realized we had quite a few things in common (so, does that make me annoying, too?!). Ever since I started learning more about her, I find her in the most random places around town and in churches - even when traveling! She is now a dear heavenly friend to me.

A quote I always turn back to: "Though we may travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

A treasured memory from COVID-19 quarantine: I've been enjoying time with my new daughter and my husband and I have been playing more board games together. A new favorite: Hive! 

 

Rhady Taveras, Vendor Coordinator

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A fun fact about Rhady: My favorite season of the year is autumn!

My favorite devotion: I particularly love praying the rosary on Sundays with my fiance. Reflecting on the Glorious Mysteries always brings us so much joy!

A quote I always turn back to: Too many to choose from! I have a running list, but in the midst of everything happening in the world, I've felt God constantly whispering "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) in my ear. That verse has always kept me grounded, but lately it's been a beautiful reminder to trust in His greater plan. 

A treasured memory of COVID-19 quarantine: My parents have never played board games before. So, my sister and I decided to introduce them to some classic games during quarantine. They love it so much that we've been playing board games as a family every single night! 

 

Emily Brown, Podcast Manager

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Getting to know Emily: I was a ballerina most of my life, so I love to just break out dancing sometimes! I am also a seasoned musician, and play the piano, pipe organ, violin, and viola; so classical music is totally my jam while I’m cooking dinner or doing work. And finally, I’m an avid outdoorswoman. I love being outside (especially at the beach!) enjoying God’s beautiful creation!

My favorite saints: St. John Paul II and St. Gianna

A quote I always turn back to: “Pray, Hope, and don’t worry!” (Saint Padre Pio)

Some treasured memories of COVID-19 quarantine: The mornings my fiancé and I woke up early to watch the sun rise on the beach and we stood in the water for hours And, my future mother-in-law and I really bonded over watching Downton Abbey together! Many evenings have been spent enjoying an episode with conversation and giggles and popcorn! 

Catholic Podcasts to Enrich the Vocation to Marriage

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

I was first introduced to podcasts as a newlywed, when we moved away from family for my husband’s job and entered a season of regular road trips up and down the East Coast. I was hooked and have since curated a selection of favorite shows that I’ve listened to during various stages of our marriage. 

I’ve listened as I drove through the Pennsylvania countryside for a volunteer job, as I waited throughout the long weeks of pregnancy to meet our son, and, now, as my toddler and I run errands in the car and do chores at home. I’ve chosen a few of my favorite, can’t-miss-a-new-episode shows for the next time you want some accompaniment in your day.

Hobo for Christ

Whenever I’m in need of a boost in my spiritual life, I turn to Meg Hunter-Kilmer’s podcast. Meg is a former high school theology teacher turned hobo missionary, as she describes herself, who travels the world speaking about the Father’s love.

Her podcast consists mainly of recorded talks, as well as some interviews during her travels, but everything revolves around the central message of Divine love. The archives are full of gems, like her saint stories for kids and topics like how your personality type can inform your prayer life, all of which will encourage you in your pursuit of holiness through your vocation to marriage. 

One of my all-time favorite talks is Some are Teresa, because often we need reminders that authentic, faithful Catholic womanhood doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s especially easy during engagement and early in marriage to compare ourselves, our spouses, and our marriages to the marriages we see in our extended families, our parish family, and on social media, but God doesn’t call us to be carbon copies of somebody else. Meg provides examples of holy women throughout the centuries whose diversity of experience and calling can inspire us to holiness right where we are. 

Meg publishes new episodes sporadically, but she has been uploading them since 2015, so there are plenty of episodes in the archives. 

 

Risking Enchantment

This podcast is, to quote the show’s introduction, “a podcast about art, beauty, and the Catholic faith,” hosted by Rachel Sherlock and a variety of guests from Rachel’s Dublin apartment.

This podcast is a particular joy for me, a former English major, because of the way Rachel and her guests see reflections of Catholicism in beauty of all kinds. Whether they are discussing the hidden Catholic elements in Vermeer’s art, or the Catholic understanding of people that makes a good detective story, they have a keen ability to find the truths of Catholicism embedded in the world around them, which helps me be more attuned to find and create beauty for my family.

While a podcast episode about World War I might seem like a strange topic to suggest to a bride-to-be or newlywed, I highly recommend the episode Green Gables and the Great War.

Rachel and her friend Phoebe Watson (yes, Sherlock and Watson, although I don’t believe they solve mysteries) discuss Lucy Maud Montgomery’s novel Rilla of Ingleside and how doing one’s duty in challenging circumstances takes a particular kind of moral courage, which is also needed in marriage. Especially when the necessary day-to-day tasks of my life seem unpleasant or unwanted, Montgomery’s story of people who do their duty, no matter how difficult, out of love, inspires me to do better—much like St. Therese’s Little Way. 

Risking Enchantment usually has 2 new episodes per month, but they are worth the wait.  

 

American Catholic History

Despite the fact that I attended a Catholic high school, most of what I knew about the Church in America was pretty limited: I knew of a few American saints, that Maryland was founded as a haven for English Catholics, and that Spanish missionaries built the famous California missions.

Through this short podcast, hosted by husband and wife Tom and Noelle Crowe, I’ve been introduced to a treasury of people and places in the Church’s history: people completely new to me, like Daniel Rudd, a black Catholic journalist; people I knew, but didn’t know were Catholic, like Babe Ruth; and places I’d never heard of, like Mount St. Macrina, a pilgrimage site in western Pennsylvania that’s home to an order of Byzantine sisters. 

A few of the Crowes’ podcasts have been about American saints-in-the-making, including Servant of God Julia Greeley, who, after entering the Church in 1880, tirelessly helped the people of Denver, Colorado, often at night so they wouldn’t be embarrassed about receiving charity from a black woman. Although she never married, her story is a beautiful reminder to married couples that holiness can be found in the small or unacknowledged things we do for each other

American Catholic History has been published weekly since June 2019. 

 

I hope that these podcast suggestions are helpful, whether you want to grow in your spiritual life, learn to see beauty in unlikely places, or learn more about the history of the Church in America. If you’re looking for more podcast ideas, Features Editor Mariah Maza has shared a list of her favorites as well. Happy listening!


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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A Heart Like Mary.

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

One of the fondest memories of my wedding reception comes from near its conclusion, as my new husband left the room to smoke a cigar with our male relatives. While the men gathered outside, my mother's close friend pulled me onto the dance floor, where I was immediately encircled by all of the girls and women present. We danced together, celebrating the joy of my marriage and the friendship that had brought each of us there. Twirling on the dance floor with these ladies wasn't in my plans that day, but like so many of the beautiful moments from my wedding, it happened because I had made room for grace.

I like to be in control of things. My wedding was no exception. One of the first things I did after getting engaged was put together a wedding binder that I proceeded to carry around with me everywhere for the next eight months. Every spare moment was given to thinking about the big day, since I had bought into the idea that a girl's wedding day should be the most perfect day of her life.

My fiancé Stephen and I concentrated on planning our wedding Mass, and my mother spent weeks perfecting reception matters with me. I thought I had every detail covered for both the Mass and the party, including a contingency plan in case our violinist--who was eight months pregnant--went into labor and needed a substitute. My plan was to master this wedding game and plan a flawless wedding our friends would talk about for years to come.

Early on, Stephen and I decided we wanted needed to make our confessions right before the festivities began, allowing us to enter our married life in a state of total grace. We asked our celebrant, a family friend, to come to the rehearsal early for confessions, and I ended up being so grateful that we took time to receive the sacrament. Because our priest knew me (and my control freak tendencies) so well, he gave me what should have been one of the hardest penances of my life:

"Once you leave the confessional in a few moments, I want you to be Mary for the rest of your wedding weekend."

What did "being Mary" mean? He elaborated, saying I needed to stop focusing on doing so much, like Martha in Luke's Gospel and instead be like her sister Mary, sitting and receiving graces from Jesus. There would be abundant graces flowing during our wedding Mass, he reminded me, but if I was going to receive them, and take them into my married life, I had to be open to doing that. If I tried too hard to do things on my own, I’d miss the chance to receive. I had no idea if I would be able to let go of this event I’d worked on for so many months. But I decided to try.

By the time the next morning arrived, gray with misty rain, I had forgotten all about trying to make things happen the way I had planned. I got so caught up in enjoying the small moments that I forgot to control things. Because of that, our wedding surpassed my greatest expectations.

That is not to say that the day was perfect, but that its beauty came from the unexpected things. Any stress I might have felt from the rainy morning or the photographer's early arrival disappeared when Stephen came across the lawn to take our first look pictures, gazing at me with more love and joy than I had ever seen.

Walking down the aisle with my father, I wasn't nervous or distracted by a few unfamiliar people who had stayed for Mass, because I was radiating happiness in anticipation of the sacrament about to take place. Later, at the reception, I clapped and cheered through an epic dance competition between one of my brothers and Stephen's housemate, forgetting all about the photography shot list I’d left at home and the timeline I hadn't made. And my plans hadn't included the lovely tunnel of friends, cheering, as we left the reception and walked out to our car.

When I got out of the way and stopped trying to control every facet of the day, other people could get involved in the celebration spontaneously, making it memorable in beautiful ways I couldn't have foreseen.

So when I was pulled onto the floor to dance with all of the important women in my life, I could accept that gift without reservation. Instead of worrying about being the perfect hostess. I could see what mattered most: that I celebrate with my guests and be present to receive their love. What I thought would be a difficult penance turned out to be a great source of beauty throughout the entire day, and I'm grateful I was given the openness to receiving that counsel in the confessional.

Wedding planning is notoriously stressful, especially in the wedding industry when the focus is on the party and not, as in the Church, on the sacrament. The graces of the sacrament of matrimony are abundant; we just have to be open to receiving them. As you are wedding planning, allow yourself that openness.

It's alright to be Martha while you're planning--there are, after all, lots of details that require planning, but don't forget to focus on the sacrament. Once your wedding day arrives, fully be Mary. Sit at the feet of our Lord and soak up all the graces he offers you as you enter married life, letting the Holy Spirit work through the people around you.

Married readers, is there any great advice you received before your wedding day that you'd like to pass on to others?


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days reading, writing, and volunteering in her community, trying to make her part of the world a little more beautiful. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in central Pennsylvania.

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Prayer Books for Brides

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

During my first year of graduate school and teaching in Charleston, South Carolina, my friends and I would meet several times a week for daily Mass, and then, if our work or class schedules permitted, have coffee or breakfast together. Though we routinely attended the same Bible study each week, the morning Mass group was much more free-form, and the days we went varied week to week. Like everyone else in the group, I was single, and had a vibrant spiritual life because I had a great deal of time to spend in prayer, both in and out of church.

I moved back to my hometown shortly before meeting my husband. Though there was a strong young adult group there too, we were less involved in community as he did his dissertation research. We married just over a year after we met.

Our prayer life together has always been strong, but after marriage I started feeling nostalgic for the girl I had been in Charleston, the one who nurtured her prayer life so thoroughly.

I had been so used to the spontaneity of my personal spiritual life that I wasn’t sure what to do now that I had a spouse to consider, as well.

Ever the English major, I turned to several books to help me balance prayer and work as a newly married woman. They continue to hold valued spots on my bookshelf.

In those early months of our marriage, my husband worked seven days a week to finish his dissertation. Sometimes I felt guilty about the nights I spent proofreading for him instead of going to Wednesday night Mass or Bible study with the young adult group. My perspective started to shift, though, after reading Dom Hubert van Zeller’s Holiness for Housewives (and Other Working Women) and St. Francis de Sales’ Introduction to the Devout Life.

Holiness for Housewives encourages married women to cultivate an attitude of prayer, one that pervades all aspects of life in our domestic churches. van Zeller points out that everything we do can become a prayer if we align our wills to God’s will and strive to do what he calls us to in each moment. For me, in that busy dissertation season, that meant a lot of proofreading. Even when I didn’t want to give up my leisure to help my husband with his work, doing so became a prayer out of love for and obedience to the God who has called me to marriage. The book is rather general, though, so when I wanted specific practical advice, I turned to de Sales.

Because the chapters in the Introduction are short, I didn’t have to devote a great deal of time to reading, yet still gleaned rich practical steps to help me incorporate active prayer into my daily life, such as St. Francis’ method  for morning prayer. One of the key aspects he describes is to “anticipate what tasks, transactions, and occasions for serving God you may meet on this day and to what temptations of offending him you will be exposed.” Using this method helps me keep sight of God’s will as I’m going through my day, having made my to-do list prayerfully.

As I learned what prayer and work looked like for me as a married woman, I realized part of my initial struggle was rooted in only thinking of myself in terms of my vocation.

I’d been seeing myself as more of a wife than as a daughter of God. I had wanted to get married for so long that when I did, I got distracted by my excitement over the reality of marriage. I needed to remember that the love I felt for my husband, and his for me, was rooted in divine love.

Recognizing this, during Lent of my first year of marriage I revisited I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux, a gift from my college spiritual director. Accordingly, I spent those 40 days--which began just a few weeks after our wedding--meditating on the fact that I was loved first and best by God, and that growing in my love for him meant I could love my spouse and fulfill my married vocation better.

St. Francis de Sales says,“Wherever we may be, we can and should aspire to a perfect life.” My prayer life looks different now from when I was single, and it will change again when, God willing, we have children. The wisdom of these authors has encouraged me to listen continuously for how God is calling me, in this moment, to pursue holiness.


About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days reading, writing, and volunteering in her community, trying to make her part of the world a little more beautiful. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in central Pennsylvania.

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