Wedding Planning | Incorporate Unique Traditions from your Favorite Cities

KATHERINE FINNEY

 

An audio version of this blog post was featured on our podcast.

Have you ever been to a wedding and witnessed a tradition you’ve never seen before? This is one of my favorite things to look for when I attend a wedding ceremony. 

Since no two couples are exactly alike in interests, personalities, and family character, no two weddings are exactly the same. Wedding ceremonies (and receptions, if you’re able to have one) are a pinnacle expression of both a couple’s love and their style, charisms, family and cultural backgrounds, and their favorite traditions; guests get to see and know the couple in countless ways.

When my husband and I were planning the logistics of our wedding ceremony and reception, we thought about each detail as an expression of ourselves. For example, we prayed individually about what readings we should use for the ceremony, then came together to decide which meant the most to us and why. When I designed a cake topper for the groom’s cake, I incorporated elements from our personal lives: the groom was dressed like a doctor and the bride, a teacher. 

My husband and I are annoyingly proud of the fact that we are from New Orleans. We’ve spent all of our married life living in cities other than New Orleans, yet we always talk about how much we love the city and it’s inviting culture. Friends from different parts of the country came to our wedding, and we were eager to show them the best parts of our hometown. 

We knew we had to incorporate a second line, a traditional dance first used in New Orleans funerals but later incorporated into wedding celebrations. It is usually led by a brass band--the first line--with the congregation dancing and processing behind the band. Without question, the food had to be centered around cajun and creole food. We incorporated cake pulls--a tradition popular in the South but primarily in New Orleans; the charms on the end of the cake pulls represented different New Orleans symbols (like a saxophone, a Mardi Gras mask, a king cake baby) and assigned traditional cake pull meanings to each of them. 

If your hometown doesn’t have unique wedding traditions like a New Orleans second line or a Pittsburgh cookie table, you could incorporate traditions from cities you love or places that are part of your love story--or come up with your own tradition that shows your guests something about who you are as individuals and as a couple. Brainstorming and planning unique traditions is an opportunity for creativity and self-expression; it can be as simple as a poetry reading or as complex as a choreographed dance performed by you and your bridal party.

Below, I share some outside-the-box ways to begin thinking about incorporating unique traditions from your favorite places as another way to share your heart with your wedding guests.

  1. Research local wedding customs for your or your fiance’s hometown, the city where you’re getting married, where you met, where you will live together, etc. 

  2. Ask for help from your venue coordinator, wedding planner, or even your church wedding coordinator. They can give insight into some of their favorite local customs, but they may also let you attend a wedding from clients in order to witness these traditions in person. 

  3. Research famous authors and/or artists from your town, and decide if you can incorporate some of their work into your reception. There may be a really inspirational line from a play, poem, song, or other art piece that you discover, and can honor the city’s heritage through their work. 

  4. Incorporate a song of a different language into your wedding liturgy. Music can be one of the most profound expressions of charism, character and, ultimately, praise to God.

  5. Pray before an image of Our Lady or another saint from a meaningful city or country. This can be done before or after the ceremony. Some of my favorite wedding pictures capture my husband and me praying before the patroness of New Orleans.

The key thing to remember is this: the most important detail is that the Sacrament is received. Your guests will get an illustrious depiction of who you are and how you love each other simply by witnessing this. In this experience alone, they will be able to pray for you and with you--the most meaningful wedding tradition of all.


About the Author: Katherine (Schluter) Finney is proudly from New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Nashville, Tennessee while her husband Jonathan finishes fellowship training. She and Jonathan have two daughters, Miriam (3) and Joan (18 months). Kat taught high school religion for four years and has worked for Catholic high schools for six years. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, and she spends most of her time styling hamster play-doh hair and cooking some kind of creole dish for dinner.

INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

Creating Holiday Traditions as a Couple

CARISSA PLUTA

 

Being newly-wed or newly engaged offers couples a unique opportunity to approach the holidays with a new lens. 

Up until now, you may not have thought much about how you will celebrate, but approaching the holidays for the first time as new family may give you pause. How will my new husband and I enter into this holiday together?

As a newly-wed, I couldn’t wait to create special traditions with my husband. And between Thanksgiving, Advent, and Christmas (not to mention all of the upcoming feast days), there is a lot to be excited for. 

If you’re like me and you can’t wait to get started on making festive memories with your spouse, here’s some advice to get you started. 

Talk about what is important to you

With the amount of fun and festive activities available, it can easily become overwhelming for a couple to decide how to spend their energy.

Talk to your husband about what aspects of the season you’d most like to observe and celebrate. Decide as a family what values you want to uphold and how your holiday traditions can reflect that. 

Keep your family favorites

Traditions are deeply tied to family so both you and your spouse will likely bring some holiday traditions into your marriage. 

Discuss with your spouse which traditions you’d like to carry over your new family. It is fun to share in these beloved and memorable activities with your new husband and your future children. 

Be realistic with your expectations. When establishing a new family, you may need to make modifications or even some sacrifices to make the holidays work for everyone. 

Related: How to Decide Whose Family To Visit for the Holidays


Draw from the history of the Church

Why reinvent the wheel? The Catholic Church has over 2000 years of traditions for their members to draw from.

The Church’s liturgical calendar provides a rhythm for your daily life and a framework for the faithful to orient themselves toward heaven. It tells us when to repent and when to rejoice, when to fast and when to feast.

Learn more about the Church’s liturgical calendar and the various traditions that go along with it, then choose a few you want to implement in your domestic church. 

Related: Need some ideas to get you started? Check out “Liturgical Living for Catholic Couples"


Be Patient

Nobody has ever forced a good holiday tradition. (Trust me, I’ve tried). 

Family traditions develop organically throughout the years so don’t be in a rush to try to form something your great grandchildren will enjoy. 

Be willing to try several traditions before the right ones stick. This may even mean that some of the traditions you thought would last are lost over time. 

Don’t be discouraged. One day you will look back and give thanks for the life-giving (and possibly) surprising traditions that your family created. 


About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

BLOG | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

Editors Share | Strategies for Gift-Giving

Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and acts of love; store-bought, homemade, experiential and meaningful—there are so many opportunities and strategies surrounding gift-giving. What traditions do you and your spouse have in giving and receiving gifts?

With the holiday season around the corner, the Spoken Bride team reflects on different approaches they have used for reciprocal gift-giving with their spouse and family. We hope our reflections affirm there is no right or wrong way to offer an act of love.

We would love to hear your approach to gifting! Share your personal reflections with our community on Facebook and Instagram.

Andi Compton, Business Manager

We don’t really have any traditions for gift giving, it usually depends on the budget and what we need. In the early years we had a strict budget for $50 per gift (for each other), but now we just have one big gift budget for us, the kids, and family that we play around with. For birthdays we tend to do outings, using Groupon whenever possible. Matt got me a nighttime kayaking trip to watch the fireworks in the harbor for my birthday and it was a lot of fun. We ended up doing a big family trip for our 10th anniversary that we hadn’t really planned on, but everything came together and the kids are begging to do it again. Lately we’ve been replacing things for our anniversary: last year it was a new blender and vacuum, this year he got me a new showerhead and I got him a cast iron griddle and a spice for when he makes apple pie (it’s the gift that keeps on giving.) And we’re going to try another cooking class together! 

I buy all the Christmas presents except my own, so Matt usually goes all out and gets me something I wouldn’t normally by myself such as new pajamas, a peacoat or boots. It really helps that I keep a detailed spreadsheet of gifts and outings from the entire Advent and Christmas season because it can be so hard to remember that we need a little gift from Santa for our Christmas party, St. Nicholas gifts, Christmas gifts, and gifts from the wise men all times 5 for our children. Plus extended family gifts! 

 

Stephanie Fries, Associate Editor

My husband and I are still building traditions surrounding holidays and celebrations as we continue to establish our budget, our love languages, and our desires for exchanging gifts or sharing experiences. For our most recent first wedding anniversary, we debated sticking with the traditional “paper” gift, leaving it open-ended, or allocating money to take a weekend vacation together. In the end, we did a mix of all three. He brainstormed a weekend getaway and I offered him a gift to start a new hobby (involving paper!). 

We don’t have a set plan for gift-giving yet, and that’s okay (I still appreciate the spontaneity and flexibility depending on the year and our budget)! As we prepare to celebrate various holidays in this season of life before children, I enjoy having conversations with my husband about the traditions we want to establish and why, with the hopes they will continue--and expand--as our family grows. 

 

Mariah Maza, Features Editor

My husband and I are less than 2 years married, so we haven’t built any strong gift-giving traditions--but I have learned to be okay with that! For our first anniversary, he surprised me with a 24-hour romantic getaway to the Grand Canyon, and I bought him a few small gifts I thought he would find useful. At first I thought my little wrapped presents paled embarrassingly in comparison with his surprise trip, but he loved each one because I had taken the time to think of his needs.

One of my favorite things to buy my husband for birthdays and holidays are Groupons. We’ve done horseback riding, boat rides with dinner, and more. In fact, he was so in love with an online barista/bartending course I bought him (for $2!), that he started pursuing mixing drinks as a serious hobby. He’s steadily learning all the different kinds of liqueur, has a nice bar set, and a thick bar book with recipes and inspiration. Plus, I’ve gotten a lot of tasty, fancy free drinks in the process! 

 

Danielle Rother, Pinterest Manager

CIRCLE HEADSHOT Danielle.png

I think spousal gift-giving can be somewhat challenging at times, especially as a wife. I just think, in general, that buying gifts for men is more difficult than buying gifts for women. For my sister or other girl friends I can easily think of cute feminine products that are not too expensive that women always love — such as bath bombs, makeup brushes, eye shadow, earrings, scented body lotion, perfume, candles, etc. Unfortunately, there really isn’t a male equivalent to some of these easy, affordable, staple gift items.

Luckily, my husband has an active Amazon.com wish list that he keeps up to date and I frequently refer to it when buying a gift for him for his birthday, our anniversary, a Christmas gift, etc. Currently, my husband has been interested in a book series that is 8 volumes called Sacrae Theologiae Summa. Since I know he is interested in collecting the whole series sometimes I will get him one of those books as a gift for his birthday or another occasion.

But many times, instead of buying a physical item as a gift, we will also use our money to have fun experiences together. One year, for St. Valentine’s Day, I got my husband concert tickets to see Eric Whitacre and it was an experience both of us thoroughly enjoyed! Earlier this year we went to see a Jim Gaffigan comedy special and we are also planning to take a trip to Walt Disney World in January 2020 as our wedding anniversary gift to each other. Many times, I prefer the shared experiences together — which turn into lasting memories we can fondly look back on.