Valerie + Jeremiah | Desert Softness Wedding

An invitation to follow the Lord into the unexpected. Boldness and trust in a Phoenix pandemic wedding.

Valerie first saw Jeremiah when they were both at Eucharistic Adoration. Christ has made himself known and visible in their relationship ever since. They were engaged in spring 2019 and joyfully began making plans.

From the Photographer:

Then the beginning of 2020 came around and things took a turn. With a virus spreading across the globe, Valerie and Jeremiah’s original wedding plans came crashing down, or so it felt at the time. The uncertainty of adjusting their plans caused hurt, confusion, and judgment from others, along with tension and anxiety between family members. This was one of the hardest things they had faced as a couple. Valerie and Jeremiah turned to their close loved ones for support and advice, and looked to God for his guidance.

All throughout, they still heard his voice, making it clear that it was his will for them to become one on the original wedding date they’d chosen.

Valerie and Jeremiah had initially planned for a 350-guest celebration, yet with grace and prayer found contentment in holding a more intimate day with only immediate family and close friends. It was nothing like they’d pictured, but once they were before God at the altar, none of the craziness in the world phased them.

From the Bride:

This was one of the hardest experiences I have ever had to go through. Like so many other women, I’d been planning and looking forward to my wedding day practically my whole life. The COVID-19 pandemic has been a very humbling situation--I did not get the wedding I planned for at all, yet it couldn’t have been more perfect. 

God challenged Jeremiah and I to trust in him more than ever during this time. We felt a sense of trust and confidence that by moving forward, our marriage would be so fruitful. It was truly the best day of our lives and it only allowed us to focus more on the meaning of sacrament--a wedding lasts a day but the sacrament lasts a lifetime.

Photographer: Brooks Photo + Video | Nuptial Mass Location: St. John Vianney Catholic Church
Goodyear, AZ
| Dress: Luv Bridal | Suits: Nick’s Menswear | Bridesmaids Dresses: David’s Bridal | Rings: Kay Jewelers | Cake: Belinda Cakes | Hair: Lynsey Miller | Makeup: Brittany Espinoza

Ashley + Andy | Birmingham Cathedral Pandemic Wedding

An intimate Mass celebrated in the halls of the magnificent St. Paul’s Cathedral in Birmingham, Alabama. Adorned with roses and blush elegance, a backyard reception became a beautiful celebration of the sacrament of marriage.

Ashley and Andy met at bible study and were immediately drawn to each other. They both shared a passion for cultivating a rich spiritual life, and this only deepened their bond. As they pursued the Lord, growing closer and closer to him through prayer, they inevitably grew closer to each other. And so, over coffee dates and Sunday Masses, they fell in love.

Then, calling upon the intercession of the Holy Family, Ashley and Andy navigated the unexpected trials of wedding planning in a pandemic. Despite new social restrictions, their nuptial Mass held within the walls of their beloved cathedral felt anything but empty and isolating. As Ashley’s brother reminded her minutes before the ceremony, “the angels and saints are filling the rows.”

From the Bride: 

Andy and I met at a Young Catholic Professionals bible study at our home parish, where we immediately connected and became friends. We didn’t notice each other in a romantic light until later, when we attended an adoration worship night during Advent. Andy was kneeling next to me, and we were caught in each other’s eyes, in awe of Jesus, and drawn to one another’s faith life. He asked me out after Mass the next Sunday, and we got to know each other over coffee.

I dated Andy for over a year and a half before we were engaged on July 28, 2019 at the Shrine of The Most Blessed Sacrament in Hanceville, founded by Mother Angelica. I cherish this particular shrine because we went there on one of our first dates. I also work at EWTN, so I love Mother Angelica very much.

Like that night in adoration, Andy and I have shared many spiritual moments together. We consecrated ourselves to the Blessed Mother when we began our relationship. Now, we serve on the prayer team for our ministry and pray novenas to our favorite saints. 

Andy and I prayed consistently for our wedding day and called upon the intercession of the Holy Family throughout our engagement. We asked St. Joseph in particular to cover us in prayer as we adjusted our wedding plans due to the pandemic. 

After a nine month engagement, we married with our immediate family present at the gorgeous cathedral in Birmingham, where we both grew up. Because of COVID-19, we had a small ceremony with only our immediate family, and a dear priest-friend from Africa celebrated the Mass. 

In the moments before I entered the church, my family came to pray with me in the bridal suite. I always envisioned my bridesmaids leading the prayers, but there was something special about my father leading our family prayer. My brother whispered something afterwards that has stayed with me since. He said: 

“I know that you wanted the huge wedding of your dreams, with tons of people filling the pews, but remember that even though the church may seem empty, it’s not--because the angels and saints are filling all the rows.” 

It filled my heart with joy to hear those words, and I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in that moment. The saints have always held a special place in our hearts, and we love learning more about them. We could feel their presence in the cathedral as soon as we walked through the doors.

The organist played and the cantor sang “Come Thou Fount,” and “Oh God Beyond All Praising.”  Both our brothers read the readings. The first was from Genesis, which included Adam’s exclamation of “this one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” to Eve, his bride. The second reading was from 1 Corinthians, explaining the definition of sacrificial love. 

As we exchanged our vows, Andy and I felt closer to each other than ever before. Then came Communion. Due to COVID-19, we hadn’t received the Eucharist in over two months. We cried when we received the Body and Blood of Jesus and will forever hold those sweet moments in our hearts. 

During the “Ave Maria,” when we placed flowers at the Blessed Mother’s feet, we prayed that she would guide us throughout our marriage and help us to become holy parents, should God grace us with children. We looked over at our family as we processed back to our seats and watched them cry tears of joy. 

As soon as we exited the church, we were surprised to see many of our close family members and friends ringing bells to “wish us well!” People hung signs from their cars as they drove by. Even some of my bridesmaids were there, dressed up in their bridesmaid dresses to make it feel like they were part of our day. We were so filled with joy when we saw those faces!

We ended the night in my parents’ backyard eating cake and toasting to our marriage. Then we danced our first dances with each other and cut the cake. Through it all, God was evident in every little detail of the day.

Today we celebrate one month of marriage, and it has been the sweetest month. 

God has blessed Andy and I with so much joy for each other. Our love story was written by him, and we are so grateful to the Lord for all the blessings we have received. 

Photography: Olivia Joy Photography | Church: The Cathedral of St. Paul in Birmingham, AL | Reception: Private Residence | Flowers - Pink Pear Florists, Cake- Pastry Art | Dress- Bridal Bliss | Tux - Calvin Klein | Invitations - Fine Paperwork | Videographer - Rush Videos | Hair and Makeup - Kaitlin Sparkman | Planner - Carly Cline and Engaged Wedding Library | Calligrapher - Amanda Reeves

Melissa + Santiago | Intimate Maryland Pandemic Wedding

An intimate wedding garnished with red and white roses and a romantic simplicity that highlighted the love between husband and wife.

Melissa and Santiago’s wedding was not the grand affair they had originally envisioned. A couple months before their nuptials, an unforeseen global pandemic, and the social restrictions that followed, forced them into a place of discernment and uncertainty. 

In a tremendous act of trust, they placed their wedding into the hands of the Father, and in the end, Melissa says “we rejoiced in the simplicity of our small and intimate wedding day.” 

From the Bride: 

Growing up as a child of divorce, the vision I inherited of marriage was very different from that of the children I knew whose parents were married. I grew up in two separate households, seeing my dad on the weekends and having a full-time mom. 

Throughout the years I faced various obstacles and challenges, but I’m thankful my mom was faithful to her Catholic roots and instilled many Catholic values into my upbringing. One thing was certain, if I ever entered the sacrament of marriage, I knew I didn’t want to put myself or my children through a divorce.  

Related: Embracing Marriage as a Child of Divorce

I had long started my journey of healing past wounds when I met Santiago, and I actually thought I was doing pretty great. I realized, however, that God continually challenges us to grow and purify ourselves. A few months after our engagement, my mom encouraged me to attend a retreat for Adult Children of Divorce. The retreat was a huge blessing for Santiago and I. It was there, after more than a decade, that I was reunited with Fr. Dan Leary, a priest from my adolescent youth group. Fr. Dan quickly became an integral part of preparing Santiago and I for marriage. 

At the beginning of quarantine, we were hopeful things would get better. As we got closer to the wedding date, we realized our plans would have to change. The more we were stripped of the worldly desires we envisioned for our wedding, the closer we were drawn to surrender and trust. 

Those days were a purification process similar to the earlier stages of our marital preparation. Santiago and I grew even closer during this season as we discerned whether to postpone or keep our wedding date. I went through every stage of grief and was on a roller coaster of emotions, but these moments called me back to the sacrament of confession (thank God for drive-in confessions!) and to cling on to prayer. 

As we grappled with the idea of having to postpone, God redirected our focus to the core of what brought us together in the first place: keeping God at the center of our lives. Despite the circumstances and tremendous change of plans, we rejoiced in the simplicity of our small and intimate wedding day. 

In retrospect, attending that retreat was truly Divine Providence. The first time we asked Fr. Dan to officiate our wedding, he was already booked for May 16th. After the unexpected turn of events, we celebrated the sacrament of marriage at his parish with him as our officiant (he also  photobombed our pre-wedding prayer picture). 

As he said during our wedding homily, “It’s a perfect day to get married in the midst of a virus. Why? Because what overcomes the virus is love. What’s crippling so many people is fear. They’re afraid, but when you see love it reminds you that it is the only thing that lasts. God does not identify himself as fear. He identifies himself as Love, and the only emotion, the only virtue, the only reality that exists at the end of time, when you are before God, will be one thing: love. You’re injecting love into a culture that’s afraid. You’re injecting love into people that need to see it.”

We’re living in very heart-wrenching times. And yet God is present in our pain, in our sufferings, and in our brokenness. He calls us to seek and find him in these moments. He calls us to not lose faith and to trust in his plans, for they are far greater than ours. 

There is growth to be found in every season of life, and through it all God knows what he’s preparing us for.   


Tiana and AJ | Franciscan University Port Wedding

Wildflowers and lace for a pandemic wedding at the couple’s spiritual home, the site of their first steps together toward their heavenly one.

Tiana and AJ were in the same year at Franciscan University, with mutual friends, classes, and the same semester abroad together, yet didn’t talk often. Until the rainy Holy Thursday of their senior year. 

Tiana was eating a bagel in the student center when AJ came over and struck up a conversation. For the first time, they exchanged more than a “Hey! How are you?”, talking about their Easter plans. “Well, what are you doing on Monday?” AJ asked.

“And then it hit me like a ton of bricks,” Tiana says. This kid was asking me out. On a date. Once I figured out what was going on, I started to internally panic. Dating was in no way a part of my plan at Franciscan. I had severely overcommitted myself to too many different things senior year, and there was no way I had any time to date.” She hesitantly agreed. On their first date, they talked for three hours over pizza. “I guess you could say it went pretty well,” Tiana deadpans.

From the Bride: It’s so funny to look back. In some ways, I don’t think I would have ever believed anyone who would have told me, “[AJ] is the man you’re going to marry.” In other ways, I can look back and so clearly see God’s hand in all of it. I remember going hiking on one of our early dates, and there was this moment where we paused and sat down on this big rock. I (very boldly and uncharacteristically) leaned my head on AJ’s shoulder and held his hand.

I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and sense of “home.” I distinctively in that moment remember the Lord telling me, you can rest here. 

I don’t often hear him so clearly, and I am not one to rest. I am often busy and anxious and overwhelmed. I am uncertain and indecisive. But I knew that the Lord was inviting me in to trust him. To rest. And to let myself be loved by him, through this man he was placing before me.

Our relationship is far from perfect. Like any imperfect humans, we can both be stubborn and selfish. We argue. We make mistakes. But we are confident in God’s grace and mercy, especially through the sacrament of marriage. We are so excited and filled with joy to enter into this vocation that Lord has called us to, so that one day we can make it home to heaven, together.

From the Photographer: On a beautiful spring day, Tiana and AJ were wed. Their wedding date was moved up over a month earlier than planned due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This was not where, when or how they ever pictured their wedding day, but nonetheless, it was perfect and beautiful. Their small, intimate ceremony took place on the campus of Franciscan University of Steubenville in the simple, stunning and beloved Portiuncula Chapel.

They were surrounded by a small group of family and friends as they promised to be faithful to one another, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.

Being married in the midst of a pandemic, these vows took on an even deeper and more profound meaning. There was tangible joy felt by all who were present. 

One of the most unique and positive things that I've seen come from this pandemic is how family and friends rally around couples and find new ways to celebrate their love, all while social distancing. Tiana and AJ's friends gathered in their cars along the side of the road to surprise their newly married friends after their wedding Mass. It was so incredibly special. They held signs, threw confetti and played music to celebrate. There were even some friends on Facetime sharing virtual congratulations.

Even though their original wedding plans were good and beautiful, things had to change drastically. Tiana and AJ had to entrust our Lord and Our Lady with their new plans, knowing God is still in control, even in uncertain times. Their intimate ceremony put the focus on the sacrament taking place and allowed those present to really be immersed in the profundity of matrimony. Two lives, two souls were woven together and not even a pandemic could stop that. 

The popular saying in the wedding industry these days is "You can't cancel love." That is very much the truth--because God is Love.

Photography: Laura and Matthew | Church: The Portiuncula Chapel at Franciscan University of Steubenville | Dress: Anthropologie’s BHLDN, Portland Gown by Jenny Yoo | Bridal Bouquet: The “WhichGoose” Shop on Etsy | Rosary: West Coast Catholic | Shoes: Birkenstock’s | Bridesmaid Dresses: Azazie | AJ’s Suit: Ryan Seacrest’s Distinction Line from Macy’s | Tie: Dazi

How to Support a Bride When Her Wedding Plans Must Change

CLARA DAVISON

 

Perhaps it happened a few weeks ago or perhaps you got the text today—around the world, wedding plans are modified because of the Coronavirus. 

In the last month, three of our friends have canceled their weddings, for now. With each cancelation, I was both heartbroken and a bit unsure of how to react as I watched my friends navigate the unique circumstances around wedding planning in 2020.

Here are four steps you can take (right now!) to support your friends or fellow brides who have changed their wedding plans:

1. Acknowledge the Loss

Yes, there are extraordinary things happening in the world causing a global heartache. A suspended wedding may not be headline news around the world, however, for your friend, this wedding was the beginning of her marriage and a major event she had meticulously planned with hopes and expectations for who would be present, how it would look, and how it would feel. Do not dismiss her sadness over the cancelled event simply because there are seemingly more tragic things happening around the globe. 

Acknowledge the loss and allow her to express her disappointment in a safe and nonjudgmental space. Affirm her reaction is entirely appropriate, and give her time to process this loss. It is okay to grieve the changes to wedding plans. 

2. Offer Help and Support

Planning a wedding is a huge task; after so much work, canceling and rescheduling the big day can feel like an insurmountable task. At the thought of having to redo months of wedding planning, the bride may feel overwhelmed with the amount of decisions and tasks at hand. 

Reach out with offers of help and support. Can you help call wedding guests with the news? Do vendors need to be coordinated with for the new wedding date? Are there rented decorations that need to be returned? 

Help the bride brainstorm and delegate tasks to family and friends who are willing to help. During a time when everything can feel overwhelming and unknown, it is especially important to make the bride feel she is supported with helping hands.  

3. Continue to Check In

No matter how far in advance a wedding day gets canceled or altered, it is a difficult adjustment. After the initial decision is made, continue to check-in with the bride and let her know you are thinking of her during this unexpected difficulty.  

Can you send a quick text or email letting her know you are praying for them? Can you send a small “thinking of you” gift on the date of the now-canceled bridal shower? Continuing to check-in after the initial decision will help your friend know that their wedding day is important to you too. 

4. Make the Wedding Date Special

Though plans are canceled, couples have several options in how they choose to move forward in pursuit of marriage. Some may postpone the entire wedding while others may have a private ceremony on the original date and a large party at a future date. Regardless of what they choose, their original wedding date will look much different than they initially anticipated.  

If you have a friend who has moved both the ceremony and the reception, make sure you reach out to this bride when her former wedding day arrives. This will be a difficult day for her and it is especially important for her to be surrounded with love. Can you have flowers or cupcakes delivered to her house? Can you mail her a card with a thoughtful note? Can you send her a care package filled with some of her favorite things? Spoken Brides’ Vendor Guide offers creative and thoughtful ideas for gift-giving. 

If you have a friend who is having a private ceremony, see if there are ways you can still be included in this bride’s wedding day! There are many creative ways to celebrate the new marriage during this time. Can someone livestream the wedding for friends and family who cannot be there in person? Can you decorate the car while they are inside the Church? Can you leave cards and gifts outside their new home for them to find after their ceremony?

This year has turned out very different than anyone anticipated; many engaged couples are experiencing this unexpected stress in unique ways. Experiencing this unprecedented adversity will be a foundation of memories and emotions for our entire world—in an extremely personal way for brides and grooms. Showing your soon-to-be-married friends extraordinary support during these extraordinary times is an act of love as they begin their married lives.


About the Author: Clara Davison has worked as a whitewater raft guide, sex trafficking researcher, U.K. Parliament researcher, swim coach, and freelance writer. She currently works in Brand Management and lives with her husband in North Carolina.   

INSTAGRAM

Ivana and Samuel | Classic, Colorful Quarantine Wedding

 

An intimate, joyful gathering despite COVID restrictions.

Ivana and Samuel met while salsa dancing. Their partnership on the dance floor led to a year of friendship before pursuing a romantic relationship. Their dating relationship, engagement, and wedding all started in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. There is no doubt that Christ has been with them through every step of their vocation.

Ivana prayed a 54-day Rosary novena prior to their engagement, asking for the Blessed Mother’s help to be holy, joyful, and pure in their relationship.

When it came time to consider how the global pandemic of COVID-19 would affect their original wedding plans, Ivana and Samuel were able to maintain their holy, joyful, and pure intentions for their wedding—and each other—as they made new arrangements for their wedding day.

“I felt that God had been preparing me throughout our engagement to surrender and trust, and this felt like the ultimate lesson.”

From the Bride:

Things turned out so differently that what we had imagined. We had our wedding date set for May 9th, 2020, but with the uncertainty of COVID-19 and the shelter-in-place restrictions when March rolled around, there was fear of not seeing each other for two months while we waited to say our vows.

Because we had already finished our wedding prep and felt that what we most wanted was to be together, we sought wisdom from our priest to ask if marrying us sooner would be a possibility. When he first replied that "yes," he would marry us as soon as we wanted as an emergency sacrament, we were immediately overwhelmed with joy and excitement—followed by disappointment and sadness at the thought of losing our heavily dreamed of, articulately planned wedding ceremony and reception complete with our dearly beloved family and friends surrounding us.

After giving it a night to think and pray over the decision, we woke up with a firm understanding that this was indeed the right decision: asking for God's blessing and grace to be united in the Sacrament of Matrimony immediately was what we truly desired. 

In a time when sacramental grace is scarce, we felt it was so deeply special to enter into the sacrament of marriage, both for us and for others. When God unites a man and woman in marriage, it is a grace for both the couple and for the world, a sign of God's love for his people, his dearly beloved.

We felt that by partaking in this sacrament of marriage, we would be doing something beyond us; we would be accepting a gift of God to the world. 

Although we did without many of the details that we had originally planned for our special day, we managed to find a last minute florist who arranged a bridal bouquet, bouquet for Our Lady, a couple of center pieces, and some boutonnières. We were also able to ask our caterer to prepare a much smaller meal in lieu of the down payment we had already given him. With one of my dear friends and Samuel's sisters, we were able to photograph, video, and even live stream our wedding to include family and friends who were able to safely join the celebration from their homes. 

The reception was an intimate reception at my parents' home, complete with speeches, toasts, and the first dances. It was truly a beautiful day that we will remember for the rest of our lives; a story to pass on to many generations to come.

I learned to surrender my ideal of what my perfect wedding would look like and let God be the author of our romance. During our engagement season, there were many elements I wanted to control and I felt that God was continuously asking me to let go and to trust Him.

When this huge change came about, at first I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and scream: "This isn't fair!" But then I learned to lean into it and accept our new reality. I may not have had the perfect party and celebration that I had always dreamed of, but we celebrated love that day in an intimate and beautiful way and now I am so grateful to spend every second with the man who continuously shows me God's love and affection every day.

Photography: Cecile Basnage + Elizabeth Ramirez (Friends of the Bride & Groom) | Dress: BHLDN | Dress alteration: Angelica’s Custom Tailors | Wedding Rings: Shane Company | Church: Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church | Flowers: Blooming Vase | Invitations: Matthew and Bianca Remlinger | Food: Ulisess Catering | Cake: Mazzetti’s Bakery | Guestbook: Miss Design Berry

Vendors Share | Words of Encouragement for Uncertain Times

As both couples and wedding industry professionals navigate this season of discernment, sacrifice, and adjusting expectations during the COVID-19 pandemic, we asked our vendors to share one thing they’d like to share with Catholic brides and grooms right now.

We hope that, like us, you’ll find support, encouragement, and peace in their tips. Here, encouragement from Spoken Bride vendors as you navigate wedding planning in the coming months.

Don't let it rob you of your peace, joy and love. Look for silver linings, they are there! - Allison Girone, G Photography and Films | @gphotographyandfilms

Remember that there is more than one way to handle a wedding affected by COVID.

A lot of it depends on your wedding vendors and their contracts, so before trying to tackle any decisions reach out to all of them and find out their policies for this situation. - Maria, Fenix Photography, Design, & Events | @fenixpde

Your love is not limited to a date. You will get married and it will be the best date. In the end it is about the sacrament and your spouse. - Savanna Faulkner, Saving the Date | @savingthedateevents

Find one bible verse that brings you hope and peace and every time a thought of uncertainty or fear comes to mind (or you have to make a hard decision regarding your upcoming wedding day), say that verse aloud! - Juliana Tomlinson, Juliana Tomlinson Photography | @julianatomlinsonphotography

I have a Catholic friend who got married a month earlier due to the coronavirus and thought her story was very beautiful. [There are still] so many bits of grace and consolation for brides. - Janisse Valenzuela, Janisse Valenzuela Photography | @janissevalenzuelaphoto