How to Include an Outside Musician in your Wedding Mass

SOPHIE GRAF

 

Using the music director and cantor provided by your ceremony location  is important to the flow of the Mass, but did you know it’s also possible to include outside musicians in your wedding ceremony? 

Here are six tips on how to do so. 

Keep an open line of communication between yourself, the church music director, and the outside musician(s). 

This is key, especially if the outside musician hasn’t worked with your music director before, isn’t Catholic, or doesn’t have extensive  experience playing for wedding ceremonies in the context of the Mass.

If possible, find a Catholic musician. 

A practicing Catholic will know the structure of the Mass, what music is appropriate when, and exactly when to start playing. They will also be able to participate fully in the Mass by saying the responses, singing with the congregation when they’re not playing, and knowing when to sit, stand, and kneel. Plus, they will probably pray for you and your marriage! 

Your music director likely has a list of musicians he or she recommends, but don’t be afraid to look for one on your own, especially if you’d like to include an instrument that’s not on the director’s list. Include search terms like “(Catholic) wedding [instrument] in [city]” and similar in your research.

Look for a musician with a music list specifically for Catholic weddings…

...Or make sure all selections are approved by your church music director. Musicians who regularly play for secular ceremonies will have a wide range of music available, yet since most pop music is not appropriate for the Mass, it’s helpful to find a musician familiar with Catholic  selections. Never fear though--you can always include pop music during the reception!

Related: 3 Tips for Choosing Your Mass Music

Consider  how you’d like the outside musician to work with the church musicians. 

Do you want your outside musician to play along with the church music director/cantor, or would it make more sense to split up the playing between the church musicians and the outside musician? 

Single-line melody instruments such as the flute, violin, or trumpet sound better with other instruments supporting them, whereas multi-note instruments such as the harp, or a group of musicians such as a string trio or quartet often sound better alone. 

Quieter instruments such as the harp can often be covered up by the piano or organ and so might benefit from playing solo, whereas the trumpet is loud enough that it will still be heard above an organ with all of its stops open! 

Your outside musician will advise you on the best strategy to take advantage of her instrument’s particular sound. Keep in mind that if your outside musician is playing with church musicians they haven’t worked with before, she might need  a rehearsal that will require an extra fee.However, outside musicians are likely able to play well-known religious selections, such as the Ave Maria, with only a brief rehearsal before the Mass.

Do you want your outside musician to play throughout the whole Mass? 

You may only want music during moments of transitions in the mass, like the prelude, the processional, the presentation of the gifts, and the recessional. Or you may want to incorporate music throughout the mass like the Psalm, the Alleluia, and the mass parts during the Eucharistic prayer. Understanding what your vision for your wedding mass is important when choosing a musician.

Again, this is something that the outside musician can advise you on. Some musicians, especially those who play regularly at Sunday Mass, are comfortable playing a complete Mass, whereas others (especially those who would have to write or arrange Mass parts for their instrument) are less familiar. 

A full Mass includes 2-3 times the amount of music usually used in a secular ceremony, so be prepared for a higher quote than a secular ceremony. Some musicians charge slightly different amounts depending on how much music they actually play, so make sure to ask about that if your budget is tight. 

Don’t forget about the business-y details. 

An outside musician will likely have his  own contract and will probably be paid directly by you, not by the church. Make sure you understand the contract and process, as it may be different than the church’s.

Bonus tip: If you’re thinking about including friends or family members as ceremony musicians, carefully consider their qualifications. Some very well might be qualified – but some professional musicians have a policy of only working with musicians who have a degree in music or experience in music ministry to avoid any difficult  situations. 

And above all, don’t plan on singing at your own wedding! There will likely be too many emotions for you to give a performance you are proud of. Choosing musicians you trust can relieve a lot of the stress surrounding wedding music planning--you’ll be thankful for their professionalism when the big day arrives.

So please, don’t be afraid to hire an outside musician. You and your guests will enjoy a little something special and we Catholic musicians will love being part of a wedding that truly embodies God’s plan for marriage!


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About the Author: Sophie Graf is a freelance harpist based in her hometown of San Diego. She enjoys a lively business performing for secular weddings but treasures the opportunity to perform as part of a Catholic wedding. Please pray that she gets hired for more!

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Spoken Bride is on Spotify

 

The song choices for a wedding and reception make a profound statement about spirituality, affection, and personality. Music, through both the melody and lyrics, communicates more than words can state. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: HORN PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTOGRAPHY: HORN PHOTOGRAPHY

Over the years, the team at Spoken Bride has shared a variety of blog posts about music, such as collection of love songs, music for the wedding ceremony, first dance suggestions, and advice from a Catholic DJ

Now, we are eager to support your wedding planning in new ways as you research, discern, and choose the music which will become the soundtrack to your wedding.

Through a collection of playlists on Spotify, we hope to support you, brides-to-be, as you visualize how you and your guests will experience your wedding day—from the first song of the processional to the last song at the reception, and everything in between. 

A wedding is a multi-sensory experience—much like a Catholic Mass. The vision of a bride in white captivates a crowd. The flavors of specially curated foods and desserts evoke lasting memories. The songs which accompany the movement of the bride and groom throughout the day heighten the emotional experience for all. 

Check out Spoken Bride’s collection of playlists on Spotify or search “Spoken Bride” on Spotify. 

Any songs you’d like to see on our playlists? Let us know your song requests in the comments or on Facebook or Instagram.

Introducing Spoken Bride's 2020 Vendor Week! Tips, Education, and Exclusive Planning Info from Catholic Wedding Pros

This January 11-19 is our annual Vendor Week: days dedicated to showcasing the best of the Catholic wedding industry through Spoken Bride’s blog content and social media

Videography: Visual Rose Films by Nick DeRose, a Spoken Bride Vendor. The bride, Kate Capato of Visual Grace, and wedding photographer, Emma Dallman of Emma Dallman Photography, are our vendors, as well!

The Catholic wedding industry? Yes, it’s a thing! We are proud to offer the Spoken Bride Vendor Guide, the first wedding directory specifically designed to connect brides and grooms with planners, photographers, florists, artisans, and more who share the same faith and bring a distinctively Catholic outlook to their client experience.

Don’t miss our first vendor takeovers, featuring Evan Kristiansen of Evan Kristiansen Photography and Nia Husk of Prolific Services, a certified fertility education resource, over this weekend! Follow us on Instagram @spokenbride.

At the start of this post-holiday engagement season, we invite you to browse the Spoken Bride Vendor Guide as you begin booking your wedding vendors. Each of our vendors is a true gift, offering their talents for the glory of God and sharing of themselves, their stories, and unique personalities. 

Are you a Catholic wedding vendor interested in learning about Vendor membership? Read about membership benefits and join our waitlist here.

Follow along on our blog and Instagram this week for exclusive and personal education, tips, Days in the Life, and Q+A you’ll only find from Spoken Bride vendors. Forthcoming topics include…

  • Tips for planning a pre-ceremony “First Prayer”

  • Considerations for marrying at a church that isn’t your home parish

  • Vendors’ tips for first steps in finding, choosing, and booking your wedding professionals

  • Ways to communicate the importance of your Catholic faith with your vendors

  • Instagram takeovers by a marriage therapist, a jeweler, an NFP instructor, wedding photographers, and more

Recently engaged and booking your vendors? Browse the Spoken Bride Vendor Guide:

Photography | Wedding Coordination | Bridal Attire & Jewelry | Stationery & Hand Lettering | Floral Design | Videography | Gifts & Home Décor | Marriage & Family Therapists | NFP Instructors | Music

Above all, weddings are about the personal: who you and your beloved are, and the professionals you invite in to help tell your story for generations to come. Our vendors are single, engaged, and married, alive with passion for their craft and their Catholic faith. They, and we, are so eager to share and correspond with you this week! Don’t hesitate to engage online and on social media with your questions and thoughts—it’s our hope that this week is mutually enriching, informative, and fruitful as you prepare for your wedding and marriage.

Vendor Spotlight | The Block Party

Derek Hall’s first standing gig as a DJ was in his kitchen. After the twice-weekly dinners he and his college housemates would host for friends, Derek began selecting music for dishes and cleanup--which, he now admits, “was probably just a good ruse to get out of chores!”

No matter the motivation, a hobby was born, and it soon turned into more. Derek spent his college years seeking opportunities to DJ house parties on campus, a process he says involved “finding the house with the most people on the lawn, lugging my stereo system over, and asking if the owners would mind me DJing.”

After graduation, Derek worked as a DJ for several of his housemates’ weddings, fell in love with the craft, and began pursuing as much experience and education as possible. He has studied mixing turntables in New York City and sought out mentors in the field, and Derek and his business partner, Wes, founded The Block Party in 2016.

When an art you love becomes able to meet a need, it’s hard to see the intersection of your gifts and others’ needs as anything but a call. Derek views his business foremost as a vocation--a perspective that brings particular intention, depth, and sincerity to his client experience.

According to Derek, “[this aspect of the job being a vocation] is both our personal journey as we work towards heaven, but also a unique position of being a part of our couples choosing this vocation and helping to send them off on their new journey.


As Catholic vendors with an eye towards this vocation, towards the importance of our faith, and with our hearts pulled towards others on the same path, there is a desire to both support and be supported by peers. To pray for each other. To have one corner of the world to more openly relate on the unique challenges we have while attempting to live our faith in what can be a very secular industry.”

Based in the Ann Arbor and Detroit area, serving Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Illinois, and available for nationwide bookings--Derek and his wife are lovers of travel who dream of visiting every continent and DJing a wedding in every state--The Block Party embodies this spirit of vocation in everything from up-front investment info to their fellow wedding vendor recommendations to Derek’s desire to make each wedding the best he’s ever done, not for his own gratification, but out of a desire to serve his couples. Yet as seriously as he takes his business and calling, Block Party weddings are engineered for fun and celebration, involving vinyl mixing and creative, well-thought out playlists unique to each gathering.

Music has a power to draw our attention to a particular setting and purpose--that’s one reason why liturgical music, with its purpose of worship and contemplation, is appropriate for a nuptial Mass. In a similar way, the music at your reception can do the same, creating an atmosphere of true joy and emotion that points to a deeper reality.

From Derek: DJ culture on the whole pushes me musically, and I've found mentors around the country that have shown me that there is room for a DJ to bring lots of creativity and passion for music to a wedding setting. Redbull Thre3style, Girltalk, and my Block Party partner Wes are all big inspirations musically.

My wife and our relationship are a huge inspiration for how I work with people. I tend to pour my heart into things and she is my filter, knowing my love language inside and out, and helping me to channel my love and energy to best take care of our couples and our friends. She grounds us so we can try out crazy ideas and big trips. Our faith as a couple pushes us to take ownership of each others work, to pray for our couples, and to treat this as a vocation first, and business secondarily. We still work hard to be prudent and have a responsibility to be good stewards of our brand, but we want to eliminate all used car salesman feels from how we work. Being honest from the beginning and pouring everything we have into each night out of passion and love rather than obligation has gotten us where we are.

An interview with Derek

Favorite devotion: The Divine Mercy Chaplet. It's very approachable in both length and content and the end includes optional prayer that is so life giving for me: "Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion — inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself."

Despair, despondency, and a fear of there not being enough compassion are all such powerful things in our lives. This is such a beautiful answer.

By the body and blood of Christ there is enough and we can look for the will of God in our lives.

Favorite part of working on weddings: Nearly everything. Every week is a new puzzle, a completely different combination of family, location, tastes and a hundred other things. I need to take all of that and bring those people together the best I can, and of course try to foster all the dancing. Weddings are a perfect for playing anything that comes to mind because it is such a celebration of people's lives. We can be playful, nostalgic, and really pull out emotional responses just by playing certain songs.

[DJing] is also the perfect outlet for my love language of wanting to give gifts. It is so rewarding to pour years of experience and practice into one night, hopefully making it the best I've ever had, for that couple.

Favorite wedding-day memory: My wife and I did our first look on a dock...on a frozen lake...with a nerf gun duel that she didn't know about till that morning. There are so many parts of the day I still love, that were beautiful capsules of our relationships with our friends and family. We did a waltz and an Irish dance together that were also a ton of fun.

On my bucket list: Travel to all continents with my wife, spend 3-6 months abroad in one chunk, and DJ a wedding in every state—this combines my loves of travel, people, and DJing into one nice goal

Favorite place I’ve traveled: Ethiopia. I've been blessed to a do a bit of travel, but this trip was quietly brewing for over a decade. My wife spent a few years in Kenya when she was little and her parents were doing mission work. Her heart has always been tugged towards doing work in Africa, and when we were in undergrad, as best friends, I'd tell her someday she'd find a guy who would get it and be up for the adventure with her. All this time later when we finally decided to date and then marry, and I was that guy, we made a trip to Ethiopia for a week of work, and a week of exploring. It gave me so much more context of who she is.

Favorite music: Music is so hard. I love how much music timestamps life. I love learning and growing my music tastes. It's my job, but I also love almost any music I come across.

Favorite food: Grilled chicken, pierogies, or salad work any night and are easy to make for guests. Or anything my brother makes. He's a chef in LA and has changed my world about food as an art and science.

 I root for...the Pittsburgh Steelers, who I’ve been watching with my wife forever, the Detroit Pistons, and Detroit Tigers. I love basketball.

Love means...Love is not a feeling or an emotion. So many things happen in life that can quickly totally shake or even break your snowglobe. Depression, putting on weight, losing jobs, and other struggles are things that can happen in life, especially when you are around a friend or a spouse for a long time.  You aren't broken if you can't feel. Even in our faith, sometimes we can feel cold and don't feel on fire. God sticks with us and is patient. He offers forgiveness and has shown us how there is beauty and love in sacrifice and pain. Love means persistence, a gentle heart, and vision of someone that goes beyond the last few moments to know the beauty and value they have. Love is doing what we can to get our spouse to heaven.

VIDEOGRAPHY: HEART + SOUL

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3 Tips for Choosing Your Mass Music

CLARE SIMILIE

 

Picking the readings and the music for your wedding Mass is an opportunity to show the beauty of the sacrament. And while it can be fun to choose the music, it can also be a daunting task. There is no end to options for liturgical music and if you haven’t grown up singing in a Church Choir, you may not know where to begin. Here, some helpful tips and suggestions to get you started.

Talk with your fiancé.

Do you imagine all the Mass parts sung in Latin? Do family members have strong opinions about what instruments belong inside a Church? Many of our Church music preferences have been deeply ingrained in us from our Mass-going days throughout our lives. You may assume your fiancé wants, for instance, to walk down the aisle to a guitar Matt Maher song like you do, when in reality he envisions Gregorian chant. You never know until you discuss it! If your tastes differ, be willing to compromise, like opting for a traditional Ave Maria along with a more modern Offertory hymn.

Get on the same page with your Music Director.

While it’s good to have some idea what music you and your fiancé like, having your parish’s  Music Director on board will ease much of the selection process. Many parishes have a guide with certain rules about what pieces you’re permitted to use--for example, did you know Wagner’s “Heres comes the Bride” is not used at Catholic Weddings? It’s helpful to familiarize yourself with the rules beforehand to prevent any conflict. Then, have an open mind! Chances are, the director has been doing this a long time and will have great advice and suggestions.

Research, research, research.

Once you know what the both of you are drawn to and have guidelines from your Music Director, it’s time for the fun part: actually choosing the music. If you don’t even know where to start, think back to your experiences at Mass: Are there any songs that particularly move you? Ones you love grabbing the hymnal and singing along to? You might also consider asking recently married friends about their selections. Put together a Spotify list of any potential songs, and once you have lots of options, take a day to go through the list together and pick some favorites. If you are still stuck, below is a list of suggestions:

 
 

In the end, your wedding Mass, including the music, is a prayer you are offering to God. The beauty of music lifts our souls higher. If you approach your selections with that in mind, you will not fail.


About the Author: Clare Smillie works in development for her diocese's local social service. She is passionate in her work for the Church and enjoys volunteering with her parish and Young Adult Group, and is looking forward to her Summer 2018 wedding. Clare and her fiancé, both graduates of Thomas Aquinas College, bonded over their love of Aquinas, G.K Chesterton and C.S Lewis. Her current favorite saint is Theresa Benedicta of the Cross, a.k.a. Edith Stein, and is inspired by Theresa's love of the intellectual life and pursuit of truth. Clare loves her home state of Montana and is a (very) amateur wedding cake baker.

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