Vendor Week 2020 | A Photographer's Tips for a Sacred, Memorable "First Prayer" Before Your Ceremony

SINIKKA ROHRER

Your wedding photographer is there to help you discern and plan a First Look before your wedding ceremony begins. A First Look, in addition to offering you and your spouse a moment of personal joy and quiet, makes it possible to get many portrait photos out of the way prior to guests arriving and minimizes the time guests are waiting for the reception to begin. As you plan your timeline with your photographer, talk together about whether you'd like to do a First Look and if you’d like to bring in an element of prayer.

Photography: Soul Creations Photograhpy, seen in Amy + Jay | Fort Harrison Wedding

Whether as a supplement to or substitute for a First Look, I highly recommend considering a First Prayer—not just for photos, but also for a phenomenal, precious moment that you and your beloved can hold on to tenderly before the day begins. 

Will you and your beloved have a First Look? Read more about considerations for making the decision.

As you and your beloved stand back to back, it not only gives your photographer time for additional images, but allows for a sacred, silent moment of alone time—something couples tend not to have much of throughout their day.

Here, 3 steps toward making your moment together sacred and special:

Stand back-to-back

One of my couples, Becca and Brian, wanted to have their First Prayer in the chapel, under the cross of Christ, on their wedding morning. Before we led Becca to her place, Brian had already been positioned, with his body faced away from the door as he stood beneath the cross of the One who loves him so deeply. 

After Brian was prepared, my team led Becca to her place as well, knowing in moments she would be in contact with her groom. Even though she wasn’t able to see him, they were right where they wanted to be: next to each other.

Hold hands

My husband and I chose a First Prayer ourselves for the morning of our wedding. We each brought a card for one another to read, and after doing so, we held hands for what seems like the longest moment of the day. Holding his hand helped me feel connected, united, and secure. He wasn’t going anywhere, and I wasn’t either. We hung on for what seemed an eternity. 

My clients Amanda and Craig held hands, as well, around the large, wooden door that would open again later when Amanda stepped down the aisle for her bridegroom to behold her. 

See Amanda + Craig’s First Prayer and their Classic Ballroom Wedding in Indianapolis

In this moment, Amanda squeezed Craig’s hand tight and let tears slide down her face. She was with her beloved, and no matter what difficulties had come that morning, she was reminded of their sacred bond, their journey to this day, and their unconditional love. 

Pray. 

As each of these men stood waiting to hear the voice of their brides, I placed my own hand on their shoulders and prayed: that they let Christ lead their marriage and lean on his shoulder as their family leans on them. I prayed they see Christ when they see their brides, knowing the love of these women perfectly reflects the heart of God. 

And as these brides, Becca and Amanda, stood anxious to approach their beloveds, I took their hands and prayed, as well: that they lean close to Christ’s chest just as they lean on their spouses’. That they support and walk closely with God, becoming more and more like him, and that they see Christ when they see their groom, knowing his love perfectly reflects the heart of God.

As they stood back to back, hands joined on opposite sides of the door, they prayed. Some of my couples choose to say a Hail Mary, some a Rosary or Chaplet, and some choose spontaneous prayer.

I encourage you to consider including a First Prayer in your timeline! Those moments that you have together are beautiful and will be captured for your album, but the sacred bond that you will feel is even more incredible. 

Take these moments to unite your heart with the sacrament about to take place. I wish you all the best on your engagement journey! 

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About the Author: Sinikka Rohrer is a Christian wedding photographer and Spoken Bride vendor on mission to encourage brides with practical and spiritual encouragement on the way to the aisle. She is a lover of all things healthy, early morning spiritual reads, and anything outdoors.

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Wedding Planning | Creating a Moment of Pause on your Wedding Day

STEPHANIE FRIES

It is not uncommon for a bride and groom to reflect how their wedding day “flew by.”

Despite the nonstop timeline for your wedding day, there are opportunities to intentionally plan alone time for you and your beloved. Creating these moments of pause to connect, make eye contact, catch your breath, and be together can help slow down the pace of the day so you can soak in each detail of the people and once-in-a-lifetime events.

Before your wedding planning is complete, note the moments of transition or create points of pause to allocate special times to truly cherish the day.

PHOTOGRAPHY: BEAUTY OF THE SOUL STUDIO

Early Morning Coffee Date

Depending on when hair and makeup begin for you and your bridal party, this option may mean an earlier-than-normal wake-up. But if you and your groom-to-be are eager to see each other, exchange gifts, and say “I love you” before the day begins, waking up with the sun may be a great option. Sneak away with your fiance for a cup of coffee to start your wedding day. This is a time to share complete privacy, authenticity, and emotional preparation.

First Look or First Touch

We have previously published several pieces discussing “Reasons to Have a First Look” and perspectives from a photographer including “Recommendations for a First Look” and “5 Things to Know.” In consideration of the time together, a first look or first touch is a moment not only to capture significant photographs, but to also savor a moment of solitude together.  

The Getaway Car

You say I do, share a kiss as husband and wife, walk down the aisle to the applause of family and friends, then… are swallowed into the demands of photographers and guests. Rather than waiting at the back of the church for the next order of business, consider enlisting a getaway car for a quick spin around the block. A five-minute drive offers a private moment to catch your breath and soak in the reality of your new rings and your new vocation. If a car is not an appropriate option for your venue, plan to step into a side room of the church while guests process out.

A Private Meal Before the Reception

Being intentional about eating a meal between the wedding and reception is recommended to maintain your energy and blood sugar. If possible, consider the option of enjoying a private meal as newlyweds. Regardless of what you eat—whether a plate prepared by the caterer or a take out meal on your way to the venue—the most important aspect is creating time to slow down and be together throughout your wedding day.

Freeze Frame the Reception  

Some of the greatest advice my husband and I received before our wedding was to step away from the reception before the day comes to an end. In taking this advice, we found a chance to laugh together and share how full our hearts felt—then go back inside to continue celebrating with family and friends. Creating this kind of intentional pause helps to break the day into compartmentalized segments, allowing you to remember specific details of each “chapter” as opposed to recollecting the day in one big blur.

We would love to hear: when did you and your beloved create a moment of pause on your wedding day? Share your experiences with our community on Facebook or Instagram.

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About the Author: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband, Geoff, a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal (…with dessert). Read more

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First Look Recommendations from a Wedding Photographer and Bride

CLAIRE WATSON

If you've started planning your wedding day timeline, you are probably aware of how quickly time will pass once the processional music starts. Enter the first look. First looks started as way for photographers to create extra time for portraits during the wedding day. Couples often desire more relaxed, romantic, fun, storytelling portraits, but don’t want to make their guests wait over an hour for their arrival (and dinner!) at the reception.

When my husband Kevin and I got married, we decided to utilize a first look upon the suggestion of our own photographer. It was before the term was widespread and we felt like we were bucking tradition. But as I looked up the origin of the no-peek custom, I didn't feel so attached to the idea.

PHOTOGRAPHY: CLAIRE WATSON

As you might know, the tradition stems from a precaution in arranged marriages where seeing a bride prior to the ceremony posed a flight risk to the groom. With the source of this ritual unveiled--pun intended--it was one we were more willing to abandon.

Having a first look was one of the best decisions we made in our wedding planning. Not only did we capture beautiful photos, but, more importantly, we were also afforded a moment of shared peace before the ceremony.

Even though I was outgoing and madly in love with Kevin, I was crazy-nervous about walking down the aisle. Like, my-sister-doing-breathing-exercises-with-me-in-the-confessional nervous.

Whether I'm scared, nervous, happy, sad, or excited, the person I run to is Kevin. The morning of our wedding was no different. Fortunately, we had planned a first look and I had the chance to calm my nerves with the man who knows me best. We smiled, laughed, embraced and talked--it was wonderful, and I will always cherish the time we reserved for the two of us.

Even after seeing each other before the wedding, walking down the aisle was an incredible moment. I remember being overcome with emotion as I walked arm-in-arm with my dad down the same aisle I used to walk down every morning for elementary school mass, noticing all the friends and family who had traveled to celebrate with us. My heart was overflowing as I was walked toward the person with whom I wanted to share everything.

The fact that we had already seen each other all dressed up didn't dampen our joy or anticipation to become husband and wife. In fact, I think it enhanced our ceremony because we had released some of our nerves and could be more present to the sacrament.

From my personal experience, and the ones I’ve witnessed as a photographer,  I encourage my clients to have a first look. It provides time for the bride and groom to love on each other and breathe together. It is an opportunity to be still, separate from questions about where the corsages are or who has the tip envelope for the organist.

A few of my couples have prayed together during their first looks. While the blessings and prayers led by a priest are wonderful, there is something vulnerable and beautiful about uttering a prayer yourselves. Entering into a marriage and forging a new family is a heavy--albeit joyful--undertaking. Praying together before the ceremony offers a chance to abandon the tiny stresses that can bite away at your peace and to recenter your mind and soul on the significance of the day.

In 2019, I will get to photograph an Adoration first look! I cannot wait to capture this intensely beautiful way to prepare for vows before the Creator. Humbling oneself to ask for the Almighty's guidance, to surrender your union to his will, or to pour out your heart to God through song--without the pomp of the ceremony and away from the eyes of your guests--are some wonderful ways to prepare for this lifelong vocation.

Whether you choose a first look or not, I encourage you to make time to pray on your wedding day.  Pray with your bridal party, with your parents, through the sacraments of confession or the Eucharist. Plan time for quiet Adoration or exchanging letters with your beloved that contain your prayers each other. Without a plan, the moment for quiet stillness in preparation for the sacrament of matrimony will undoubtedly slip away.

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About the Author: This year, Claire Watson hung up her job as a business law attorney to focus on photographing weddings. In between emails and editing, she dances in the kitchen with her kids. She lives in Martinsburg, West Virginia with her smokin' hot (her words) husband, tenacious but awesome three-year-old, and snuggly ten-month old.

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