An Open Letter to My Past Self, on Her Wedding Day
/KRISTI DENOY
You’re a bride. Today is your wedding day: the culmination of your months of planning, stressing, laughing, crying, DIYing, and writing really large checks that made you die a little on the inside. Today concludes the preparation and tough conversations you’ve had with the man who will become your husband.
Congratulations.
Enjoy today, beautiful bride. But know today is just the first day of your vocation. Know today will be a whirlwind—of emotions, of time. It’s going to be a blur when you look back. Also know that it won’t be anything like the millions of romantic comedy weddings you’ve witnessed (and yeah, okay, sometimes dreamed of).
It will be so much more.
You might not believe it now, but when you wake up this morning, you’ll creep out of bed with sheer calm, knowing you are about to join your husband in a spiritual, metaphysical way. You’ll prepare your makeup and hair and won’t be able to stop smiling all morning.
That’s joy. This day will bring you joy. You’re marrying the man who loves you. He makes you laugh. He's silly with you. But you know what else? He’s the man who will choose to love you every single day—even a month into marriage when you’re being less-than-desirable. He’s the man who will hold you when you’re a mess and crying.
He’s the man who will make you a better person: the one who will make you question what you thought mattered. The one who will help you see that making small sacrifices for him is love. Your dreams will evolve to include and consider him. It will fill your heart more to perform random acts of love for him just to see him smile—and your marriage will be all the better for it. Soon, you’ll be carefully choosing your words and when to say them for him, because sometimes things are best left unsaid.
Today your life together begins.
It starts in that beautiful church, the one you first sat in four years ago, wondering if you were meant to be single forever. Where you joined ministries and made friends, including the cantor, lector, and the altar server’s entire family, serving side-by-side, who are here today. The church where you and your betrothed shared your first Mass. It’s simple and minimal, allowing you to focus on the moments of the Mass rather than the glitz.
You chose a lovely, modest gown off-the rack, on clearance with an additional discount. And you look like a princess. That’s because you are. You are the daughter of the King of Kings. Your sister-in-law bought you the most beautiful bouquet. The single-piano music will soon begin. The cake has been delivered and the food is being prepared for the celebration. The photographer is ready to shoot. But that’s not what today is about.
Today is about you and him and Him. Three of you: husband, wife, and Creator, coming together in this covenant, surrounded by the word of God and the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
Today is about honoring God in the infancy of your new life together, from its very first moments.
Beautiful bride, holy child, today is about you working with God to create something beautiful: a life of sacrificial love.
Sincerely,
Kristi
About the Author: Kristi Denoy is newlywed to a handsome man, momma to a wonderful daughter, theatre aficionado, and an HR guru with a soft spot for farmer's markets and mom and pop coffee shops. She blogs at Hail Marry, where she also co-hosts the FIAT: Faith in All Things podcast.